More Phelps Phun
What is the world coming to when an Olympic hero can’t even trust his hometown hoes?
Seriously, we can understand how some poor South Carolina college kid was able to make bank off of swimmer Michael Phelps “misdeeds,” but isn’t there some kind of “stripper code” that’s supposed to keep these bosomy babes from playing tell-all with the tabloids?
Apparently not.
Meet Theresa White, the Maryland-based exotic dancer who wants you to know absolutely everything about her repeated sex romps with Phelps.
From News of the World (yup, the same folks who brought you the story behind the Phelps pot bust):
Boozy Phelps invited the 34D Latina and several of her lapdancing pals back to his £1.1 million waterfront apartment. “Michael came in with a bunch of friends to celebrate,” said Theresa.
“They were there a couple of hours and asked three of us back. Michael was a bad tipper but he was nice to me, although he was kind of mean and cocky to some of the girls.
“He said he liked short girls and I thought that was funny because he’s so tall. At the his place we started playing drinking games. Two hours later I was pretty drunk and I went up to Michael and said, ‘If you were to have a threesome tonight, who would you like it to be with?’ He told me he’d never had one before but said it would be with me and then pointed at another girl.
“Everybody else stayed put while we went upstairs and jumped into bed.
And?
“The sex lasted for about three hours. Michael should get another Olympic gold for marathon love-making!”
After that first night of passion 23-year-old Phelps often returned to Theresa’s club. She said they met two or three times a week throughout November and December for sex and intimate chats.
And Phelps brazenly boasted to Theresa of his dope-smoking exploits. She said: “He told me he’d done marijuana since he got back from Beijing. And he tried to get some for me one night but couldn’t find any.”
Strangely, Phelps always refused to take Theresa out in public on a proper date-apart from one time he treated her to a “value deal” meal at Mexican fast food chain Taco Bell. “That was it,” she said. “He just bought me some soft tacos. No romantic candlelit dinner. He HAD said he’d take me to The Capital Grille which is one of the city’s swankiest restaurants, but it never happened. And he’s supposed to be a millionaire!
“I never saw his medals either. He doesn’t have a lot of stuff in his house. It’s bare, there’s no food. Just a pantry full of candy and a fridge full of beer.”
Good Lord this guy is living the dream, isn’t he?
Strippers, gambling, pot, booze and … wait for it … candy!
You know, we have a similar pantry full of candy here at FITS, except we employ a uniformed waiter with a British accent (modeled after “Coleman” in Trading Places) who asks our founding editor if he wants his usual “num-nums with a Yoo-hoo.”
Anyway, Theresa adds that Phelps isn’t the “all-American boy the public thinks he is,” which let’s be honest, is pretty well established at this point.
And yet as his image takes another hit with stuffy Madison Avenue ad execs, millions of boys ages 9-15 are hitting the pool right now.
Like. Immediately.
As we speak.
WEB EXTRA
Theresa NSFW
Pics: News Of The World
Comments
By Crooner on May 11th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
She never saw his medals??!! Hey, maybe it’s just some other tall, goofy looking kid cashing in on his likeness to Phelps. It’s not like strippers are all that smart.
By James the Foot Soldier on May 12th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Who else has that kind of cash to throw at jinormously endowed entrepeneurs?
Maybe the “stripper code” ended when attempts to extort even more dough from the boy-dolphin were rebuked?