Elizabeth Edwards Is Broken, “Resilient”
All week, I’ve wordlessly allowed Elizabeth Edwards her spurn-spangled publicity tour.
That there is a publicity tour at all is weird enough, if for no other reason than dignity and privacy – of the Edwards children, if not of Elizabeth herself.
But that’s been thought, been said, been rejected – the matter of the children decisively ignored by the public for a taste of that millennially favorite pursuit: Rehab.
The idea is that Elizabeth will lead her family through all the usual rehabilitative customs, fortifying the family via the restorative powers of public post-trauma playback.
There’s something else at work here, though … something other than attention, money, rehabilitation, recognition, fame, or repentance – although those are certainly elemental.
Yesterday Elizabeth appeared on Oprah’s show, looking every bit the rock star, the new big thing. It was, in fact, much more than an appearance.
Elizabeth performed!
This is not to say that she’s insincere.
Probably she’s genuinely genuine, in her Oprah performance – in all her recent performances – and in her book Resilience, the promotion of which is the ostensible basis for all the performances.
She certainly performed, but that doesn’t mean that she acted.
Elizabeth is not an actress, nor is her story an act.
She has made no pretenses about what she’s doing. She’s selling Resilience, and she’s selling resilience. She’s offering an open book, and she’s offering herself as an open book.
It’s all there, in plain view.
There’s a quaint Southern phrase about the Elizabeths of the world. Never have I had occasion to use the phrase, though I’ve wanted a chance to say it since I first heard it on Steel Magnolias.
Elizabeth Edwards is a glutton for punishment.
She gorges on pain, humiliation, rejection. These are the things that nourish her, and sustain her. Of all the things you can’t say, this is the most transgressive of all – that a victim thrives on her own misfortune, that Elizabeth’s visceral need for heartache precipitates heartache.
Elizabeth told Oprah about the time that John’s mistress, Rielle Hunter, told John that he’s “so hot.” Just under the surface of Elizabeth’s retelling is the hint of titillation – neither John’s nor Rielle’s, but Elizabeth’s.
Very vaguely, Elizabeth seems scintillated. Maybe Elizabeth even handpicked a shirt for John, or some cologne, with Rielle in mind.
It’s not pretty to say these things, or to imagine them. But it’s rehabilitation that Elizabeth seeks, and this is the closest thing she’ll get. All I’m really saying, after all, is that it’s all been for the best – the proposal, at last, that it all happened for a reason.
That’s all anyone ever wants to know, that they didn’t suffer needlessly. Indeed, “needless suffering” is inapplicable and oxymoronic with regard to Elizabeth.
Her suffering is necessary, essential, purposeful.
If would be pathological, if it weren’t so damn ordinary.
Comments
By Connor on May 8th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Harsh. But I can’t say I disagree.
By Justwondern on May 8th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Mande..Is Elizabeth’s “spurn-spangled publicity tour” connected to John’s ’sperm-spangled pubic tour’?
By For real on May 8th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
FITS now has a psychology degree to add to all it’s other know it all degrees
By CNSYD on May 9th, 2009 at 10:22 am
All these people are phony. If she wasn’t trying to turn a profit ($$$$) we would not be subjected to all this fake angst. In the sports world, Coach K who seldom speaks to the media is now everywhere. Why? He too is selling a book.
Of course the top phony baloney is Oprah herself.
By James the Foot Soldier on May 9th, 2009 at 11:52 am
With wives like Mrs. Edwards and Mrs. Specter “standing my their man” is it any wonder how screwed (pun intended) we are as a country?
By Mande Wilkes on May 9th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
James -
Look who else is standing by her man:
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/05/08/2009-05-08_an_affair_to_unremember.html
- Mande
By Cynthinia on May 10th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Elizabeth has the right to tell her story, her view in her own words. Not writing this book wasn’t going to make this scandal go away. Her kids can get older and read exactly what their mom had to say, not journalists or historians or bloggers. In our media savvy society, it’s best if you tell your own story, so when your story is told in documentary styled programs, ie., “Politicians and Scandals,” or when political ethics are taught and John Edwards’ name is sited as a case study, they’ll have her words and thoughts to interject.
When feminism is discussed and the modern woman, the paradox of “standing by your man” and what it means or implies, Elizabeth Edwards’ own words can be used.
I believe her kids will appreciate that their mother had the courage to publicly address what happened in her marriage after making news headlines and being fodder for many jokes.
Elizabeth Edwards had many reasons to write this book and for whatever reasons it’s her life and choice.
By CNSYD on May 10th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Cynthinia, I do care to be a voyeur of her life or any other “celebrity”. Why they have the neccesity to inflict the details of their personal lives on us is beyond me. That is why I suspect it is the profit motive. Not only by the “victim” but especially the “media”. It might increase their bottom line but it doesn’t mine.
By teresa on May 10th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
What a masquerade….and did you notice and interpret their body language? John Edwards scratching his arm constantly showed how unconfortable he was. And Elizabeth Edwards hugging herself or hunched forwards?
I dont believe there is love there. I believe she is out there to take her revenge in public and humiliate her husband as much as possible. If she really loved and forgave him she would not expose him to this. She is out to hurt him and insure that he and Rielle Hunter can t get together again.
By James the Foot Soldier on May 10th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
omg….thanks for following the thought process Mandy….I meant SPITZER….although, Mrs. Specter has got to be wondering who the hell she married as well.
By connie on May 13th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Elizabeth seems to me in the interviews that she is getting some kind of sick satisfaction from all of this. If she truly were a victim, she wouldn’t seem so much to be gloating about the fact that her husband cheated on her. The ONLY reason Elizabeth Edwards wrote her book is because she can’t stand the fact that THIS affair of all of John’s affairs (look at her, of course he cheated on her) became public. Last year, she begged for privacy, this year, she hawks a book about it. What does she want? She wants revenge. I cannot wait until Reielle’s book comes out, then we will know that perhaps “You are so hot” is what John said, not Reille. How “resilient” can one be if she cannot event stand to hear the name of her husband’s lover? That’s not resilient, that’s denial. As someone wrote above, someone who “forgave” her husband and “loves” him doesn’t bash him nationwide on a pity party book tour.
By mphsnme on May 13th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
It takes two to tango. And if all it took was some stranger to walk up to my husband and tell him “you are so hot” to rip his pants off, well…
By andy on May 13th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
I have to say, Elizabeth looks awfully smug for someone who is supposedly a victim. She has overestimated her fan base and how much b.s. Americans can take. She is angry that she is not in the White House and in addition to that her husband’s latest affair made the news. Many women in America deal with cheating husbands; not many of them deal with it by telling Oprah, America, writing a book, and living in a mansion. Elizabeth is disgusting.