What In ‘Tardation?

The retardation factor in the S.C. General Assembly hit an all-time high today when State Senator Thomas Alexander (RINO-God’s Country) put out a press release confirming what most people already knew – that he belongs someplace with padded showers.

Alexander is cracking down on the dreaded pestilence that is novelty lighters, particularly those that look like clay models of cameras that they manufactured back in the 1960s.

Seriously, don’t break your funny bone on this one:

The most disturbing lighter looked like a little toy camera. Senator Thomas Alexander (R-Oconee), the bill’s primary sponsor, held the lighter up to his eye like he would a normal camera. When he pressed the camera button, fire shot up from the top. Had Senator Alexander not held the camera inches away from his eye, the fire would have scorched his eye and forehead.

Alexander commented, “This lighter is obviously marketed to entice children to play with fire. Just look at this camera. It would cause serious harm to a child.”

A child … or a S.C. Senator.

In fact, in a battle of wits between a novelty lighter and a five-year-old … and a novelty lighter and Sen. Thomas Alexander … where would you honestly put your money?

That’s what we thought …

Of course, this is precisely the sort of crap that our MSM will put front and center all over the local news in South Carolina.

No really. And Thomas Alexander will thus be praised forever more as the Statesman who used the caring hand of government to rid us of novelty lighters.

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