Barrister’s Ball: The CSOL Version Of Events

An email statement was sent to students at the Charleston School of Law today responding to a FITS post that delved ever so briefly (and non-accusingly) into rumors that some wild times went down at a recent social gathering sponsored by the school.

Several of the rumors were flatly denied, others were “clarified.”

The response was posted on the school’s internal, password-protected network – which of course we’ve managed to finagle access to.

Kidding, kidding … it was forwarded to us, people. Sheesh.

Of course, now’s as good a time as any to inform everyone at the Charleston School of Law that our founding editor will be appearing in your dreams tonight.

We’ve managed to finagle access there, too.

Anyway, here’s the message:

Students,

I am going to take a minute to address the situation that has occurred today. It is regrettable that there is a situation that has occurred where someone decided to tell a news outlet about unsubstantiated rumors of what occurred at our Barrister’s Ball. I can say that these statements were rumors and that no one from the legislative community was assaulted nor was there a physical altercation of any sort between a legislator and a student. I urge anyone who says otherwise to come forward with details of such conduct. Additionally, there were no sexual relations between people at the Barrister’s Ball even though many of us heard something to the contrary. Both of these rumors were dealt with in a meeting with security for the event that occurred the Monday after the event. I can state with one hundred percent certainty that what you have read on the Internet is not true.

I can also tell you that action was taken immediately after the event between the parties involved, the administration and myself. These actions have however not been made public to the students based on the fact that we did not want to post until everything was finalized. An investigation was conducted and punishment has been considered by the administration. The SBA was planning on releasing today as part of the agenda that at our meeting this week we plan to address this situation. I urge each and every one of the students who care about this situation to attend. At the meeting we will be having a public apology by each of the individuals involved, as well as a release of the details concerning punishment. The meeting will be held in Mary 102 at noon. I hope everyone is having great success in preparing for finals.

Sincerely,

Alex Lewis

Not surprisingly, Lewis’ account jives to the letter with multiple comments and phone calls (as well as some nastygrams) that we’ve received today from CSOL students.

And it may very well be an accurate recounting of exactly what happened.

All we’re saying is that Lewis’ account does not jive with reports we’re getting out of the State House concerning the a state lawmaker who was present at the event.

Nor does it jive with reports we’re getting from staff at the Charleston Aquarium, which is where the Barrister’s Ball was held.

Nor does it jive with a report from several students who attended the event … and managed to snap some interesting pictures.

Anyway, we can confirm that our founding editor had a meeting at the Charleston Aquarium immediately after his speech earlier this month at CSOL – where he is said to have requested unusually extensive access to the facility’s outdoor “salt marsh” exhibit as well as an otter tank.

Oh, Sic also requested access to the cute blonde who handles the horseshoe crabs, but that particular request was denied. Forcibly, as a matter of fact. Tee-hee! What a rascal!

By the way, did y’all know horseshoe crabs pre-date dinosaurs?

Crazy, but true …

Oh, and here’s a tune in honor of all our new friends at CSOL … we just couldn’t resist (sorry) …

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