The Yankees Are Serious About “God Bless America”
We’ve always thought that “God Bless America” should replace the “Star-Spangled Banner” as our national anthem.
Either that or Jay-Z’s “99 Problems.”
Of course, judging from the current direction of the country, we might as well go with L’Internationale. Sung with a clenched fist, of course.
Anyway, America may not give a rat’s ass about God, his blessing or any of the free market principles this country was founded on anymore, but you better not move a muscle when they’re playing “God Bless America.”
At least not during a New York Yankees game.
From the New York Daily News, here is the saga of Bradford Campeau-Laurion:
Campeau-Laurion said his clash with cops began when he decided to use the bathroom at the start of the seventh-inning stretch. He got up and made his way down the aisle as the song began playing.
A police officer blocked his path and told him he couldn’t leave during the song, the lawsuit alleges.
Campeau-Laurion explained that he needed to use the restroom and was not concerned about “God Bless America.” Then he attempted to walk past the officer.
Before Campeau-Laurion could take a step, the police officer grabbed his right arm and twisted it behind his back, the lawsuit claimed.
A second officer twisted Campeau-Laurion’s left arm behind his back, and the two officers marched him down several ramps to the stadium’s exit with his arms pinned behind his back.
Of course, this took place eight months ago – at the old Yankee stadium – but the suit was filed this week, which is why it’s in the news.
Frankly, the fact that government is now seeking to exercise control over when people can go to the bathroom is just the latest sign that the apocalypse is upon us.
In fact, if this incident had taken place at “Bailout Ballpark,” we’re pretty sure God would have come down and smitten this land with a curse – assuming he hasn’t already.
God is a Mets fan, by the way, but only because of Mookie Wilson.
This is nuts, though. This guy wasn’t burning the flag or screaming during the song, he was trying to take a leak.
And as anybody can tell you, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Comments
By Seth Rogen on April 17th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
There has to be more to this than meets the eye. Cops won’t spend all the time and paperwork arresting someone for getting up during God Bless America. They have better things to do.
By Jerry on April 18th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
All of you who think that it is not necessary to stand still during the playing of God Bless America deserve a punch in the mouth. As the writer stated
“Frankly, the fact that government is now seeking to exercise control over when people can go to the bathroom is just the latest sign that the apocalypse is upon us”
This act is not that which gives sign of the apocalypse; It is the fact that this little shithead “Campeau-Laurion” will most likely win in court.
You liberal yuppie cowards have infested the very being or our judicial system to the point where those who hate America are benefiting financially when your poor little souls feel “offended”. Americas worst enemies are not foreign born; nor do they hide in caves in Afghanistan; or wear a sinister smile constantly contemplating Americas demise; the worst enemy is all of you who agree with “Laurion” You people have no morals or respect; and should be deemed unfit stay here.
By reggie on April 18th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
ummmm, jerry, chill out.
how about this, lets go “lazzie faire” and say, stand up during this song. we dont care. we just think less of you.
honestly, i would stay still during the song, but if you want to stand up, go ahead. i dont care. whatever.
chill people.
By Matt on April 19th, 2009 at 8:47 am
Ummm….it’s the seventh inning stretch. The whole point of it is an opportunity to stretch out, use the bathroom, get something to eat. Thank God and America that we’re no longer under the control of wack-jobs like Jerry. Hate to break it to ya Jerry, but we’re a litigious society, and that applies to liberals and conservatives. And seriously, if there’s a reason some conservatives don’t fall into that category it’s only because they feel like it’s a corporation’s God given right to maim babies or kill seals, or whatever it is that conservatives do for fun. Seriously Jerr, ya need to chill out. Because honestly, in reading your diatribe, you sound exactly like Mussolini or Hitler…..and that’s about as Un-American as it gets. If you think that America is about being forced to show respect to a song, instead of having the right to go to the damned bathroom whenever you want, then you really don’t understand America in the least.
By superdynamite on April 20th, 2009 at 9:37 am
He should have pissed on the cop’s shoe.