We’ve said all along that the Secretary of State’s office in South Carolina is an utterly useless agency and should be folded at once into a Cabinet-level Department of Administration.
The agency is nothing but a glorified file cabinet, with a guy getting paid $92K a year to sit on his ass while a bunch of bureaucrats shuffle business incorporation papers and prepare for their once-a-year report on which charities have been naughty and which ones have been nice.
Oh, and they investigate beauty pageants from time to time, too.
It’s a job any idiot could do – which is good, because like so many other more important positions in state government, an idiot is doing it.
Mark Hammond, a.k.a. “The Bean,” is easily one of the dimmest bulbs South Carolinians have ever elected.
Seriously, he’s almost as dumb as Henry McMaster … not quite, but almost.
Anyway, Hammond is becoming quite the cult celebrity in state government for his “Hammondisms,” unintentionally humerous expressions which have started making the rounds at the State House … and now beyond.
Recently, Hammond told a colleague after a budget hearing that he would have to “manage nutritionally” in order to comply with a legislatively-mandated reduction in his agency’s funding.
“Manage nutrionally?”
That’s pretty funny, but there’s one Hammondism in particular that has people doubling over.
It’s his repeated insistence that he can’t “phantom” why lawmakers keep proposing to make his office an appointed, not elected, position.
No kidding … he can’t “phantom” it.
Ladies and gentleman, your Secretary of State.
You know what? We can’t “phantom” why South Carolina sucks so bad, either.
By wdavid March 12, 2009 at 2:54 pm
As a fan of Toddlers and Tiaras, I firmly believe that pageants need to be investigated, particularly the “glamor” pageants that involve chitlins.
By Gillon March 12, 2009 at 10:27 pm
So “Hammondisms” are “unintentionally humerous(sic) expressions.” What I can’t “phantom” is what this has to do with arm bones? Or would “humerous” be an example of a “Sic Willieism?”
By Mab March 13, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Good eye, Gillon.
Pregnant brain by proxy, maybe? Men are prone to it in the last trimester.
Does that little red line not work on your ‘puter, Sic One?
By Rob October 23, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Two observations: (1) If you’re going to criticize, please learn how to spell. It’s “humorous”… as in NOT with an “e”. (2) Do you personally know Mark Hammond? If your answer is ‘no’, then you should not position yourself as a critic tasked with running a state agency. For 7 years Mr. Hammond personally reviewed The State newspaper’s business opportunity advertising clients to stabilize compliance with state laws that protect SC taxpayers and consumers. So before you spout off about a guy sitting on his “ass” as you call it while others do the grunt-work, you might consider doing a LITTLE research first. I wonder how much you make – if it’s less than $92K per year, then who is sitting on who’s ass?!
Please don’t take these comments personally – just dig deeper first next time. I personally know Mark Hammond and he really is protecting the best interests of residents of the Palmetto State. All the best!
Rob