Revenge Of The Gator Zombies

As if winning their second national championship in three years and beating our beloved Gamecocks like they stole something wasn’t sufficiently impressive, now the Florida Gators are planning to raise a Zombie Army that will overtake the world.

No really.

The University of Florida is petitioning the Gator Legislature to permit the erection of a columbarium where UF alumni can have their ashes stored eternally for a mere $3,000 to $5,000, depending on whether there was a lot of you to incinerate, we suppose.

Florida is also hoping to permit some fans to have their ashes spread on the field.

From the Gainesville Sun:

Kathryn Mizereck, who graduated from the university in 1973 and is now involved with the alumni association, said she understands the desire to spend eternity on campus and told her husband the football field is where she wants to be.

“Your ashes got to be somewhere,” Mizereck said. “I personally would like to be on the 50-yard line because I don’t want to miss anything.”

Your ashes indeed “got to be somewhere,” people.

Personally, if we were Gator fans we would want ours at the foot of Tim Treebow, but that’s just us.

Now the only question is what we’re going to do with former Gator (and current Gamecock) head coach Steve Spurrier’s remains.

Given the way his offenses have been playing lately, neither the air nor the ground is looking very good at the moment …