Bizzarest Bill Ever

By fitsnews • on March 5, 2009

We’ve heard all sorts of excuses over the last decade as to why South Carolina’s public school system remains the nation’s worst in spite of the billions of additional tax dollars we keep pumping into it.

None of those excuses, however, can hold a candle to the one offered yesterday by State Sen. Ray Cleary (RINO-La La Land).

According to Cleary … you know what? We’re laughing too hard to type at the moment …

From the AP:

A South Carolina bill meant to boost students’ attentiveness by improving their dental health has received initial approval.

Republican Sen. Ray Cleary, a Murrells Inlet dentist, says students can’t pay attention when they’re suffering from tooth decay. His bill would provide students with free dental checks.

A panel he leads approved it today, sending it to the full Senate Medical Affairs Committee.

The bill would create a pilot program in several of the state’s poorest counties when the funding becomes available.

We apologize in advance for causing you to projectile spit on your computer monitor, but if it makes you feel any better the same thing happened over here.

This is, surprisingly, quite a real bill.

A lawmaker who’s a dentist has in fact created a new government-funded dentistry program and then passed it out of the legislative subcommittee he chairs because – and we still can’t believe we’re typing this – “students can’t pay attention when they’re suffering from tooth decay.”

Who knows? Maybe next year government could zero in on hemorrhoids, because Lord knows those things make it hard to concentrate, too.

Hell, when “funding becomes available” maybe we could create a pilot program to distribute Preparation H and “do-nut” cushions to students in “several of our state’s poorest counties.”

After all, it’s “for the children.”

Now, all we have to do is find an ass doctor in the legislature to sponsor our bill and shepherd it through their subcommittee … oh, and pay lobbyist Richard Davis a $25,000 monthly retainer to create the “S.C. Ass Doctors Association” (and make sure Sen. Hugh Leatherman is on board).

Gotta love how things “get done” in South Carolina.

Comments

By John on March 5th, 2009 at 8:45 am

Goto this website and it is not too hard to figure out why. His top contributors are health care providers. 3 of the bills he has out there relate to helping the dental profession. http://www.followthemoney.org/database/StateGlance/candidate.phtml?c=103840

He works for the dental association and not the people. Imagine that.

By FWFIV on March 5th, 2009 at 8:57 am

As I read it the bill specifically wants to fund a coordinator who will try to get kids enrolled in various programs that already exist.
I really can’t understand the criticism here, this would help some poor children with rotting teeth. How in the world could any sensible, compassionate person not want kids to suffer. I know your “for the children” comment was meant sarcastically, but come on.

By Toyota Kawaski on March 5th, 2009 at 9:12 am

Can i get free Nitros?

By Monkeydarts on March 5th, 2009 at 9:48 am

fitsquote excerpt: “… in spite of the billions of additional tax dollars we keep pumping into it.”

There is no relationship between money spent per pupil and positive results in education. That’s true in any state. If dollars spent per pupil were all that mattered Washington DC public schools would get better results than Iowa.

By Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo on March 5th, 2009 at 10:30 am

On the plus side, you can add this money to the all those administrative costs that never make it to the classroom!

By Bob O on March 5th, 2009 at 10:40 am

If these dentist think that the “kids” need it so much why do they not open their doors on Sat. and give free care? Oh wait that would mean they would not make money. No sarcasim here just the truth that 90% of property tax already goes for the “kids” education now lets give their sorry parents another reason to be sorry assess. Folks no need to work anymore the Gov. will save us!

By baker on March 5th, 2009 at 11:27 am

Will — This part — “students can’t pay attention when they’re suffering from tooth decay” — was from the AP article. Far as one can tell, it isn’t a a direct quote from the legislation, though the bill could say something to the same effect.

I don’t see a lot wrong with offering dental checks for needy kids in public school. Seems like a good place to reach that population and something that could be extremely helpful.

By baker on March 5th, 2009 at 12:34 pm

And that’s a good point, Joey Jo Jo….

Some legislator from the coast can mandate that we spend money helping poor kids get access to dental care — which may, in fact, be a good idea — but then SCRG and folks like them would charge that “educrats” are wasting money. The deal is that so many of the expenditures in public education are directly related to things lawmakers say have to happen.

By Old Bike Dude on March 5th, 2009 at 1:08 pm

sic how does the political bs of this goof ball reflect on public schools.
btw my public school boys are still banging out lots of hits at all the local private schools. They play pretty good baseball too.

By Mel on March 5th, 2009 at 1:37 pm

Don’t they already get free dental on Medicaid? I am a dental hygienist and work for a dentist who accepts Medicaid and even though I don’t know a lot about the system or the billing, I am pretty sure the kids get their check up visits for free. Let me know what I’m missing here…