Bonds’ Balls
Disgraced slugger Barry Bonds’ ongoing public humiliation could take a nutty turn if federal prosecutors get their way and have his testicles admitted as evidence.
No, really.
Bonds – who is scheduled to go on trial in early March for obstructing justice related to his steroid use – is reportedly set to have his allegedly steroid-shrunken balls analyzed by a trained testicular expert using a device known as an orchidometer.
From With Leather:
What good would this do? Do we have any idea of what Bonds’ testicles looked like before he started juicing? I don’t understand why anyone could think this is a good idea. Hopefully Bonds’ balls will just plead the fifth. That’s why they put that in the Constitution, you know. No man should be incriminated by his own scrotum.
Unreal.
Now the only question is which Bonds’ memorabilia collector will purchase the orchidometer used to analyze Barry’s balls when it inevitably makes its way onto E-Bay.
Comments
By Uncleshag on February 20th, 2009 at 8:38 am
“Play ball!”
By Old Bike Dude on February 21st, 2009 at 8:14 am
OK someone has to so it might as well be me.
As a fan of baseball I’ve seen lots of balls. Fly balls, ground balls, balls hit deep, balls hit back, balls in the umps sack, balls down the line, balls on the line, balls in the gap, balls off the wall, fast balls, curve balls, spit balls, balls in a glove, balls off the end of the bat, barehanded ground balls, scuffed balls, dead balls, foul balls, balls out of play, balls that bounced off the bag, balls just out of reach, caught balls, snagged balls, balls low and away, bobbled balls, balls hit back in the upper deck, and balls which have gone yard.
But I ain’t ever seen me no shrunken Barry Bond’s balls.
Ball 2
Foul