Jack Ryan’s Little Girl Is All Growed Up

With all apologies to the Sheriff of Richland County, we must have been pretty high when American Beauty came out because we had no idea that the little girl from the Quaker Oats commercial (a.k.a. Jack Ryan’s daughter in Patriot Games and Clear And Present Danger) was our beloved boob-bearing “Jane.”

What the hell?

And while Thora Birch is obviously all growed up (in all the right places), there’s something about fantasizing over her that just feels wrong … although that’s not stopping us from freeze-framing American Beauty right now like our lives (or at least a few seconds of critical release) depended on it.

There’s just something sketchy about this, people … like Harrison Ford is going to come busting into our office cubicle any second now.

Or … our boss … damn! BRB!