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James Taylor was “Gone To Carolina” in his mind, but several dozen enemy combatants detained in the U.S. war on terror(ism) may be headed to South Carolina for real when President Barack Obama closes the Guantanamo Bay prison camp in Cuba next year.

Not surprisingly, word that the Charleston Naval Consolidated Brig (i.e. this classy joint) is on the list of terrorist detainee destinations has S.C. politicians tripping over each other to oppose the shutdown of the base.

“I hope Washington will hear this message,” said State Sen. Ronnie Cromer in a statement earlier this week. “We must proceed with extreme caution when it comes to this matter of national security.”

Yeah, because Barack Obama is definitely going to be influenced by some redneck Republican State Senator from Newberry County on matters of national security.

Seriously, Sen. Cromer. How about do us all a favor and stick to securing money for the “Hoppin’ Festival” or whatever hillbilly parade it is you guys throw up there in Newberry.

Anyway, we honestly have no idea why our government is detaining terrorist suspects at all, because if it was up to us, we’d strap ’em to some cruise missiles and fire their asses back to whatever America-hatin’ country they came from.

Problem solved.