Something Ate Jessica Simpson …

As if the extra roomy 1980 Jordache jeans and double-stacked leopard belts didn’t give it away, former all-world hottie Jessica Simpson is going through a bit of a William Howard Taft phase.

In fact, it’s gotten so bad we hear they’re considering casting her as Boss Hogg in the Dukes of Hazzard sequel …

Wait, really?

No not really … The Dukes of Hazzard movie absolutely blew and no one went to see it, which means making a sequel is out of the question – unless of course Barack Obama wants to spend some bailout money financing it, which we’re guessing is one of the few spending items he might actually pass on.

Anyway, as much as society tells us these images are wrong (and that we should call out Tony Romo for having a fat girlfriend), we gotta be honest … fat Jess is kind of turning us on.

Especially the one where she sticks her rear end out and makes a face like that chick from The Closer.

G-r-r-r-rawwwwrrrr, baby …