Boobs Go Bust?

Believe it or not, a flattening (dare we say concave) economy is resulting in flatter chests.

Wait … what?

It’s true. After spending $12 billion on plastic surgery in 2007, Americans spent 62% less on the same procedures in 2008, which mirrors the declining market for fake breast enjoyment (i.e. the adult video business).

In a positively exquisite (and excruciatingly painful) article penned by Maura Moynihan, the fairly self-evident reasons for the “boob bubble going bust” are given a decidedly dead-on, yet somehow still dourly deflating treatment.

From The Daily Beast:

The coverage in the downturn of plastic surgery is filled with alarm and concern over falling profits. Doctors speak of turning business around; it’s just a temporary drop in consumer confidence; when people get back on their financial feet, they’ll be coming in for nips and tucks.

I have yet to read an article anywhere that suggests that a reallocation of income, from boob jobs to, say, food, might be a return to sanity.

We know it’s true. Dammit, we really do.

But that doesn’t mean we have to like it. And you know what? We can’t think of a better reason to hate government for failing to regulate its own mortgage behemoths, which has of course sparked this global economic collapse … of boobies.

Seriously, people. The government sucks donkey balls.