2012: Woody, Injuns & The End Of The World

By fitsnews • on January 12, 2009
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“That’s great it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes an aeroplane …”

Or does it?

According to an increasingly popular theory among cosmologists, geophysicists and the morbidly-inclined, the end of the world (as we know it) actually “started” centuries ago in the Yucutan jungles.

That’s when the Mayan Indians (a.k.a. the Crystal Skull people) figured out on some astrological calendar that the world was going to end on December 21, 2012.

Specifically, the sun is supposed to rise that day and line up at the center of the Milky Way galaxy, which is apparently “bad.”

Sort of like “crossing the streams” in Ghostbusters, but worse.

Other theories hold that a “rogue planet” will swoop into our solar system in 2012 and create all kinds of havoc, or that the earth’s magnetic field will cause our poles to flip, destroying all life on the planet.

Hollywood is also weighing in, with a viral promo for a new post-apocalyptic thriller that will feature an ensemble cast (why is that post-apocalyptic thrillers always have ensemble casts?) including Woody Harrelson, Danny Glover, John Cusack, Amanda Peet and Oliver Platt.

Oh, and this Asian gong-man …

They’ve even got Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow) directing this thing.

In the event you’re not hip to the 2012 hysteria, there’s even an apocalyptic website up and running that will bring you up to speed on all the latest doom and gloom news.

Fun!

All we can say is if the world is really going to end in 2012, then we’re a lot more pissed off about the Colts tanking in the first round of the playoffs (to the Chargers, again) now than we were when it happened a week ago.

Oh, and we would add that Indy better get its playoff sh*t together for 2010 and 2011. Cause Peyton’s gonna have to win both of those to catch up with Tom Brady.

Match.com

Comments

By reprobate on January 12th, 2009 at 8:58 am

I thought Cosmologists did hair.
Oops!
Cosmetologists.
My bad.

By Spicoli's Secretary on January 12th, 2009 at 2:23 pm

Dr. Jack Van Impe and his pretty wife Rexella would be my only credible sources of information about any of that Mayan calendar stuff:

Their web site address is:

http://www.jvim.com/

…………………

They have an awesome news update every week and are both very knowledgeable, down-to-earth folks. They deliver a hope-filled version of the doom and gloom. [Is that an oxymoron?]

Their TV schedule on TBN this week is:

Mon 1/12: 10:00 PM – 10:30 PM

Wed 1/14: 6:30 PM – 7:00 PM

…………….

P.S.

Did you all know that Rexella had a serious stalker problem years back? For cryin’ out loud people — going after the tv preacher’s wife!!!

By CL on January 12th, 2009 at 5:23 pm

Is it just a coincidence that this will be right around the end of Obama’s first term?

By Spicoli's Secretary on January 12th, 2009 at 11:19 pm

Oops. That schedule is wrong.

Columbia WACH/57 FRI 12:30 AM

Nothing is simple around here!

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