Three Brown Noses
S.C. Lt. Gov. André Bauer and Attorney General Henry McMaster joined big shot Columbia attorney Kevin Hall in Greer yesterday for a little revival-style pandering and social conservative brown-nosing the likes of which South Carolina hasn’t seen since, well … last Sunday.
Pass the snakes, people … cause these three need some oil to sell.
Oh, and it would be bad enough if all this evangelical ass-kissing was taxpayer-free, but guess what – it’s not.
That’s because Bauer and McMaster (both 2010 gubernatorial wanna-bes) and Hall (whose firm stands to make some serious bank in the process) are all pushing for South Carolina to shell out a boatload in legal fees to defend the “I Believe” license plate.
“I Believe” in Jesus, in case you were wondering.
Smacked down by a federal judge last month … as everybody and their brother knew it would be … the “I Believe” plate became law last year after Gov. Mark Sanford declined to sign or veto the bill, thus allowing it to become law without his signature.
Nice, governor. Way to take a stand.
Oh well, at least Sanford isn’t up at the “People’s Baptist Church” trying to implant his nose in Christianity’s gooch like Bauer, McMaster and Hall are.
Here’s the problem with the “I Believe” plate – it’s not that we don’t share the sentiment, it’s that we already have way too many license plates (making it hard on our cops to do their job) and besides, there’s already an “In God We Trust” license plate for Jesus Freaks wanting to get their “Kingdom Come” on.
Why do Christians get two license plates? In fact, why is the state making anything other than a simple South Carolina plate for everybody who lives here? Including this guy?
Plus, we’re not exactly sure how spending a bunch of taxpayer money to defend an unwinnable lawsuit constitutes a good government investment in any economic climate – particularly this one – and particularly when the only beneficiaries are the pandering politicians and their attorneys.
Bauer and McMaster are proving that they are both substanceless goobers who have absolutely no shame in sucking up to people with itching inferiority complexes, and as for Kevin Hall? Let’s just hope he asked those knuckle-dragging Baptists to pass the offering plate around – cause his services don’t come cheap.
Simply put, these three brown-nosers are providing us with another vivid reminder of how tragically misguided our state’s priorites are.
We need to be focusing on ways to make this state competitive, not ways to waste more money on something that only benefits the politicians pushing it and the lawyers making money off of it.
And as we’ve said before, people who want to express themselves vehicularly should buy a friggin’ bumper sticker … preferably this one.
Comments
By FWFIV on January 8th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Way to call these pandering idiots out for what they are!!! Good job.
By Tradd on January 8th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Will, Could I hire your services to see that Big League Chew has its own license plate.
By Did they speak in tongues, too ? on January 8th, 2009 at 11:57 am
This is so shallow, its sickening. Our state barely has enough money for teachers and law enforcement, and these 3 bozos want to make an issue out of something government has no reason to be involved with in the first place.
These people buying the snake oil need to be educated about the separation of church and state- hire a minister who shares your religious beliefs- and elect a politician who knows how to competently run your government.
Have you noticed the people coming up to you that quickly begin telling you how religious they are – are usually trying to find a way to skin you out of something?
By Snead on January 8th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
It’s sad that you have to declare yourself a Christian while writing this, but I understand why you do it.
Christianity’s gooch? You are Shakespeare reborn, sir. I thank you.
By frank on January 8th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
I would expect this from Henery McMaster. People like him presents themselves as a righteous church going man, but so did many members of the Ku Klux Klan. Let’s call it the way it should be, and that is McMaster has found away not to have to wear the white sheet. He choose to join an all white club country club that does not allow black members to be part of.
By Colonel Moultrie Says on January 8th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Yeah we feel real sorry for those SC admins making six figures to put their young peeps in prison while the toot around the town in their Lexus… What comes around goes around…UF
By tigerfan on January 8th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
All candidates become hard-core “Christians” when it is time to run in south Carolina.
God bless them. Seems like they tend to rededicate their life every 3 years or so. It’s those 3 years in the middle that really seem to hurt us.
By Pro Bono on January 8th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Dumbsh*t, Nelson Mullins is doing the work for the DMV pro bono. So you are wrong on Mr. Hall’s firm making a lot of “bank” off this. http://blogs.thestate.com/bradwarthensblog/2008/07/butch-says-he-a.html
By fitsnews on January 8th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
“Snead,”
We believe in the Kingdom Come, when all the colors will bleed into one … bleed into one. But yes, we’re still running.
Look, faith in Jesus Christ is like Nirvana (come as you are) and Whitney Houston (come as a child). Cause the children are … well, you know.
It exists as a free gift, already paid through sacrifice, lest any Man should boast.
If you have to make insincere expressions of how much faith you have in order to gain approval from other people, then you’re missing the point.
It’s personal, which is why we rarely share it, and public when it is for the glory of God, not the collection of votes.
Most importantly, “judge not lest ye be judged” is more than just an “observation,” as R.E.M.’s Michael Stipe once mistakenly sang.
It is more along the lines of a categorical imperative, a la Immanuel Kant.
What do we mean by that? Everybody should believe what they believe and we’ll find out when we get there …
Until then, excessively overt evangelicals (especially Baptists) freak us out, and we don’t have a fucking problem saying so.
-FITS
By Snead on January 8th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Intense.
You should rap on politicos v. religion more often. Good stuff.
By rick on January 8th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Seperation of Church and State….Oh thats right, that was the ACLU’s definition of the bill of rights first amendment that went… the state shall make no law respecting the establishment of religion, nor the prohibiting the free exercise thereof….Lets see “I Believe”…nope doesn’t say you have to be Baptist….how about the court saying you can’t have a license plate saying “I believe”, but it’s perfectly ok to have one the says Clemson or Gamecocks or Citidel etc….how about we all exercise a little freedom and give the people that feel the need to show out the opportunity to do so. As for me, I’m waiting for enough people to come up with a “I live in South Carolina, the buckle of the bible belt, upholding the right of the citizens to engage in drugs, prostitution, crooked politics, buttkissing (sorry brown-nosing) and any form of social disease except slot machines” license plate. Happy new year and remember….only 12 more days until the messiah grants us everlasting bliss….
By fits_gals on January 8th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
@Rick,
C-i-t-a-d-e-l.
xoxo,
FITS Gals
By T4 on January 8th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Rick…Fail!
Nice article Fits! Well-thought.
However, if I ever run for office, no person will “out-Christian” me, in the words of George W. ha. Apparently the only way to get elected in South Carolina(among other Biblethumping States) is to lobby the churches. I love it. It’s so easy, and all of the political consultanting firms have this figured out. Simply Brilliant.
By On to You, Will, and Just as Wiley. on January 8th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
I love it how Will takes to task McMaster, Bauer and Hall in this story.
Let me explain to y’all what’s really going on here.
Will doesn’t really care about the license plates, although he may care about the taxpayers expense (even I’ll give him that.) Will doesn’t really care about McMaster or Bauer in this particular story either, but he includes them because despite his typical disregard for them, they both have established and undisputed Republican bonafides. He pairs the two of them with Kevin Hall to make you all aware of the fact that Hall is the attorney representing the state in the lawsuit, which is Will’s ultimate purpose. Why might you ask?
Despite Will’s protestations, Will does care about what those Baptists and Catholics and Presbyterians think, but not all of them. Just the ones who would presumably be voting on officers at the next SCGOP State Convention.
You see, by phrasing the story this way, Will can make himself the bad guy to those religious “knuckle-draggers”–his words–while attempting, key word here is attempting–to endear Hall to the same group. Genius, really.
But not so much.
May 16, 2008.
By Hally on January 8th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
Bauer and McMaster are jokes. Only a fool, not paying attention, could think they are serious.
By Granny on January 8th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Back to You, Nameless Curmudgeon:
So what happened on 16 May 2008? That is sooooooooooooo old womanish to tease us like that.
We ALL care about what happens at the next SCGOP convention. If there is one.
By fitsnews on January 9th, 2009 at 12:27 am
“On to you Will,”
Wow. We hadn’t even thought about it that way. Pretty neat analysis, though.
Unfortunately our point, at least in this instance, was not to pair Kevin Hall with anyone for any reason (a la SC Hotline), but rather to point out that he was acting like a douchebag. A pandering, annoying douchebag.
-FITS
By Aquinas on January 9th, 2009 at 12:49 am
FITS – a couple of observations: your line, “It’s personal, which is why we rarely share it, and public when it is for the glory of God, not the collection of votes” has some truth to it in that yes, faith should always be for the glory of God. But here’s where you miss the mark, so to speak. Faith in Christ may be personal, but it’s certainly not private. After all, the great commission clearly states that we are to “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” That’s hardly a suggestion, and certainly not something to keep under wraps, no matter how personal you take it.
Second observation: Your claim that “Everybody should believe what they believe and we’ll find out when we get there …” smacks of some milquetoast Unitarian Universalist kumbaya religious indifference. Getting soft on us, FITS?
If you claim to be a Christian, then you truly believe that Jesus is the only way to the Father. Where then is your love for those who don’t believe that? It’s not true love to allow another to “wait until they get there” when you’ve staked a claim here and now that the Christian faith is the way to go – now. It’s too late to wait until you get there.
It reminds me of the old “We don’t know who’s right” myth. As Father Thomas Williams explains, “Many today, thinking they are practicing intellectual humility, refuse to take a firm position on religious questions that are empirically unverifiable and prefer the comfortable stance of ‘open-mindedness.’ A clear faith would leave them in the awkward position of saying, or at least tacitly implying, that other people are … wrong. We think it judgmental and discourteous to proclaim our religious beliefs as ABSOLUTELY true, as if such religious conviction could only be the fruit of arrogance.
“Yet humility doesn’t mean intelectual ambivalence. We can be convinced without thinking that we are therefore better than others. Our [Christian] faith came to us as a free gift that we did nothing to merit, and has nothing to do with any supposed tribal superiority.”
I enjoy reading these dicussions about religion. And it shouldn’t be couched as politics vs. religion. It becomes dangerous when people start labeling religion as an unfortunate, or worse, evil, act to be tolerated. It’s about the nature of authentic religious freedom and how the practice of it forms part of the common good within the public square.
By Jason Spencer on January 9th, 2009 at 2:40 am
So, wait — Does this mean Sanford is going to be supporting Gresham Barrett in 2010?
By lou on January 9th, 2009 at 9:41 am
If the media and the blogs would print the ” real news” and the stories that are affecting SC residents every single hour of every single day, we wouldn’t have to bear with stories about license plates. The pols would be busy defending their illegal and immoral practices.
License tags are NOT an illegal or immoral practice.
By James the Foot Soldier on January 9th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Aquinas – you’ve made the case that indeed the plate is an evangelical tool to increase the number of Christians – which every judge (even the w appointees) says violates the U.S. Constitution.
Pro-bono, aka “dump-shit”: Is Nelson Mullins going to pick up the tab for the other side when they are awarded fees and costs? WHOOPS – no, that check comes from the SC Treasury.
But I digress….
This post highlights my thesis that South Carolina has NO business being the second state to conduct a primary given the alarming influence those with an “itching superiority complex” have on the electoral process. This tradition of having Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina and all 22 of their electoral votes dictate to the rest of the nation who a party nominates is beyond my ability to logically comprehend.
Florida should be the first Republican contest. Better yet, 5 regional primaries (one per month from January to May).
By Mab on January 9th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
“…South Carolina has NO business being the second state to conduct a primary given the alarming influence those with an “itching superiority complex†have on the electoral process.”
Agreed, James. Especially since my own thesis has recently begun to coagulate so very indisputably:
The Anti-Christ was spawned or lives here. Within the last century, I’m quite certain of it.
By Aquinas on January 9th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
James the Foot Soldier – yes, you did digress. Please re-read my post. I said nothing about whether the plates were legitimate or not. I was merely pointing out observations about the inconsistencies in FITS theological statements, plates or not. We can discuss the role of religion in the public square if you want, but all I was commenting on were a few statements that had nothing to do with license plates.
By James the Foot Soldier on January 9th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
My apology sir thomas Aquinas – I did not follow the command “thou shalt read thy posts carefully”.
Now back to the public square/highways: The panderers that made the Christian plates the law of the land need to realize that such overt acts often have the unintended consequence of turning people away from a walk of faith (why this is so would make for a lenghty book).
A simple bumper sticker (albeit NOT the one linked by Will) would be better and wouldn’t be viewed as state sponsored AND would have saved the State the costs of the lawsuit.
By Workin' Tommy C on January 12th, 2009 at 10:21 am
It’s all a distraction.