Formula One hottie Danica Patrick is headed to an Arizona court in January for her second speeding ticket in four months, this time getting caught doing “54 in a 35″ – which is 54 miles per hour in a 35 miles per hour speed zone for you laypeople.
Patrick was previously busted doing “57 in a 40″ in August.
Somebody seriously needs to have a talk with this girl.
In fact, if we could magically morph ourselves into an overweight Italian (say, Paul Sorvino) we would sit Danica Patrick down at one of our restaurants, gently wag our short, chubby fingers at her and say “Danica, You Drive, You Go Too Fast. You Slow Down, Okay?”
Then we would yell out “Eh, Paulie” and the waiter would bring over some wine, pasta and garlic bread, at which point we would make clear that when we said “slow down” we meant off the Formula One racetrack.
Because going fast is obviously her job on the track.
Then we would both chuckle at the irony of her being to slow down as we slurped our noodles and let the alcohol loosen our inhibitions.
Finally, after dinner we would escape to a secluded beach somewhere and make sweet love to Danica Patrick, making sure she wore the white two-piece from her Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition photo shoot.
Greatest story ever told? It’s definitely up there, people.
Update - Damn. Danica’s got nothing on Matt Dillon. Well, not in the speeding ticket category.
By male sapphist December 31, 2008 at 11:17 am
She is stunning. Every time I see her I hear ‘GoDaddy GoDaddy GoDaddy’ in my head. I am trying to figure this out before it becomes a Hinckley like obsession.
By Elyzabeth December 31, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Ok she is not an F1 racer its indycar get the facts,two diffrent types of racing. And so what its her job to go fast i think if i was her i would get speeding tickets!!!
By fitsnews December 31, 2008 at 3:19 pm
LizBizz,
We know the difference between Indy and F1. We were specifically instructed to describe Ms. Patrick as an F1 racer because our founding editor said it “enhanced his erection.”
Kidding, kidding … thanks for pointing out the differences in non-NASCAR racing to us.
FITS
By Gary Rigner December 31, 2008 at 4:09 pm
You idiots; get it fast, get it first, but get it right (something taught in Journalism 101). Danica Patrick has never raced a Formula One car. She competes in the North American-based Incycar series.
By the way, if your “founding editor” editor wants to “enhanced his erection,†may I suggest a double dose of Viagra.
By Trey January 1, 2009 at 5:17 pm
If Danica ever went to Formula 1, they’d wipe the floor with her…