Bush Dodges Stinky Shoes

In a trend that we’re hoping catches on at political news conferences, a reporter for Al-Baghdadiya television hurled two shoes at the head of outgoing U.S. President George W. Bush yesterday, missing both times but nonetheless attracting the attention of Chicago Cubs’ pitching coach Larry Rothschild, who liked the young man’s mechanics.

Will he be named the Cubs opening day starter come April? We’ll just have to wait and see, people.

Anyway, Iraqi reporter Muntadar al-Zeidi launched his two stinky missiles just as Bush had finished saying that the war in his country was “decisively on it’s way to being won,” which judging from the recent combat reports is probably true, albeit not very popular with the local press. Or the U.S. press, for that matter.

“This is a farewell kiss, you dog!” al-Zeidi shouted at Bush as he lobbed the first shoe.

Bush did a masterful job ducking the incoming footwear, but flashed his trademark awkwardness and ignorance in the moments immediately following the assault.

“So what if the guy threw a shoe at me?” Bush said brusquely afterward, segueing into his trademark shoulder hunch, which he does whenever he’s confused or thinks he’s just said something funny.

Bush then wowed the non-shoe tossers in the crowd by suggesting that al-Zeidi have been seeking … wait for it … attention.

“Let me talk about the guy throwing the shoe,” Bush said “It is one way to grab – gain attention. It’s like going to a political rally and having people yell at you. It’s like driving down the street and have people not gesturing with all five fingers. It’s a way for people to draw, you know, attention – I don’t know what the guy’s cause is, but one thing is for certain – he caused you to ask me a question about him.”

Seriously … how are we ever going to survive as a nation without this guy?

Comments

Trackbacks

• Seriously? You No Jokey? :: FITSNews