Surprise! You’ve got tomorrow off of work – if you’re gay, that is.
To hell with workplace equality … oh, and speaking of equality, that’s incidentally the point.
Supporters of same-sex marriage are encouraging people to “call in gay†tomorrow to prove that gays contribute to the American economy, a homo-economic boom that South Carolina has already experienced, by the way.
Anyway, as much as we sympathize with gays – and as kitschy-catchy as this is – we really can’t get behind “Day Without A Gay.â€
The thing is, the organizers of tomorrow’s coup have the wrong idea.
Homosexuals’ best shot at legal parity and social equality with heterosexuals is not to capriciously skip work – though, believe us, we’ve been there too.
Honestly, though, it’s not like Dunder-Mifflin is going to get any more or any less done because Oscar called in gay.
Which is why we caution against it … if for no other reason than pink slips look a lot better draped over us than thrown at us.
Anyway, gays and gay rights supporters should try working within the realm of the system, not against its grain.
Frankly, gays’ best shot at legal equality is to angle for inclusion in the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA).
Like we’ve said before, homosexuality is, plain and simple, a birth defect – a deviation from the norm (where “norm” is defined as the majority) which science continues to suggest is biologically-based.
Seen through that politically incorrect but supremely humane prism, gay rights align seamlessly with the rights of other disabled Americans.
Frankly we’re not sure why this is a particularly politically-incorrect idea – gays themselves argue that homosexuality is not a choice but a fact.
Biological facts – congenital conditions – are by very definition present at birth. So, there’s the “birth’’ part of our birth defect theory. The “defect†portion – a word unkind in its connotations – comes simply from the departure from the norm.
If gays and gay rights supporters would get over themselves and get over their own oxymoronic narrative, they’d be a whole lot further down the path toward legal equality.
Incidentally, tomorrow’s “Day Without A Gay†activities coincide with today’s hearing in the Iowa Supreme Court about same-sex marriage.
Whatever happens in Iowa – and despite our disagreement with the whole “call in gay†M.O. – we are planning to “call in human” tomorrow in honor of International Human Rights Day and in solidarity with humans everywhere.
Well, assuming that pleases our benevolent dictator … chances are he’d much rather see us in something low-cut.
By I am not gay December 9, 2008 at 9:04 am
Gay is not biological. It’s just gross. Think about what they do. Ok, maybe the girls are not gross, but what the guys do is gross.
By Cooter Brown December 9, 2008 at 9:24 am
I’m a thinkin’ I’s “callin’ in anti-scalawag, carpetbagger, & tyrannical trader gov’mint” dis mornin’. You knows dat us rebels help dat economoney along as well. Altho, “callin’ in human,” Mista Willie, is mighty funnie! You’s a clever youngin! He! He! Ha! Ha!
By BIN December 9, 2008 at 10:00 am
BIN could tell you all about it….I get the day off tomorrow! Yippeeeee!
I will spend the whole day drinking cammomile tea and painting my “No Proposition 8″ signs…..oh and twittering about the whole experience like its my job.
BIN News
By Toyota Kawaski December 9, 2008 at 10:29 am
hum Mande writes a story about being gay.
By Paul Kinfer December 9, 2008 at 11:30 am
Even if I play along with the spirit of your oh-so controversial argument, a “major” deviation from the norm is not necessarily a defect (how many standard deviations is “major”, by the way). You’re ignoring the other side of the distribution where deviation would be a benefit, not a bug.
Also, the ADA makes hiring disabled people more costly than it was before, but then you probably knew that.
If I admitted I was born with a deep and abiding fondness for poncy writers like Mande, would that major behavioral deviation from the norm qualify me for legal protection as well?
By bob December 9, 2008 at 2:43 pm
how about a day without a dick up their asses?
might do them more good
By bird December 10, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Bob — I have to agree with you on that one.
A day without has done a lot of companies more good than harm, I bet. The aggressive agenda people could have picked a stronger day to make their point. What pansies! Wednesday is the least noticed day for skipping — this from a Seasoned Skipper. In high school, that is. Which this whole thing was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO high school.
But — I hope they had a FLAMING EFFING DAY. Their gay a55e5 may pay for it on the morrow, tho.
:)
By N Waff December 11, 2008 at 3:36 pm
==============================
=
= make it a year/decade with a gay
=
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With all the self-centeredness of LGBTs and shoving their lifestyle down our throats until we vomit, let’s try making it a year or a decade without the endless gay indoctrination
By bird December 12, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Yes. Let’s do.
And don’t sponsor Newsweek’s vomit-fest next week. Or any week!!!
http://www.cbn.com/CBNnews/499850.aspx
By bird December 12, 2008 at 2:41 pm
http://blog.newser.com/post/2008/12/12/Newsweek-Dies.aspx
DEAD! Say it just like Rambo said it. With a dinner knife in your hand.
[He inspires me to strong emotions...]
;>
By bird December 14, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Oops. Rahmbo. ‘scuse me.
By David December 16, 2008 at 8:41 pm
I think you miss the point. The goal was not to get fired, but to appropriately “boycott” the day. Put in for leave ahead of time, and don’t buy anything, answer your phone, yada yada yada. To point out to people that we are part of society. Not sure it worked, but that was the point.
By the way, the ADA doesn’t cover birth defects. It only protects people with substantial limitations of a major life function (for example, if you are in a wheelchair, the life function of walking is limited). It wouldn’t include being gay, but any stretch.
By Mark December 26, 2008 at 1:19 am
I’m sick of heterosexuals shoving their lifestyle down everyone’s throats too.