We’re All Going To Die

We probably should have put a smiley face on the end of that headline – our bad.

Anyway, believe it or not terrorists are still trying to blow up Americans – or at least Americans who live in really big cities – and they may be getting closer than you might think to succeeding, according to a draft report published in yesterday’s Washington Post.

Set to be issued by the Commission on the Prevention of Weapons of Mass Destruction Proliferation and Terrorism (a group which really needs a shorter name), the odds are “better than even” that a major U.S. city will suffer from a terrorist attack involving a weapon of mass destruction within the next five years.

“In our judgment, America’s margin of safety is shrinking, not growing,” the Post quoted from the draft report.

Wow. Is this another situation where “the system is blinking red?”

Because it might be a good idea this time to actually insist on some reliable intelligence from the people we pay kabillions of dollars each year to run that system. Or else just say f*ck it and turn the whole thing over to this agency.

Anyway, we’re not claiming to be experts on Homeland Security’s latest color-coded threat level thingamajig (all we know is we’re feeling Fuschia today), but our advice to anybody living in New York, Los Angeles or Chicago right now would be wise to make like Madagascar 2 and “move it, move it” a little further on out into the suburbs.

Unlike bunkers, gas masks and chemotherapy, that advice is free, people …

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