Megan Fox Please Stop Scaring Us

That Megan Fox is the hottest woman alive at the moment should be fairly obvious, although she’s repeatedly demonstrated a strange and geeky side that scares us a little bit.

For example, we’re cool with Fox’s Shakespeare-inspired tattoo, but we have to draw the line when it comes to bodily co-habitation … particularly if it’s with somebody who appeared in that gay-ass High School Musical movie. Or for that matter all three of those gay-ass movies.

Anyway, from FOX News’ Pop Tarts page:

“Zac Efron is my obsession, we’re the same person,” (Megan) Fox told Tarts. “We’re not actually here, it’s like Janet and Michael. He just puts on his wig and a dress, and it’s me, and you don’t know that. It’s the greatest mystery of all time.”

Actually, the greatest mystery of all-time now involves a missing erection that was last seen in our founding editor’s pants.

Seriously, people … all we ever had to do was say the name “Megan Fox” and Sic Willie would be unable to stand up for several minutes without embarrassing himself.

Now he’s scaring us with his flaccidity, which is why we’re thinking about putting his woody on a “lost” poster and stapling it up to telephone poles all around the neighborhood. “Have You Seen Me?” they’ll ask, and odds are more than a few people will recognize Mr. Vesuvius and phone in.

UPDATE - Wait … mystery solved. He’s back …

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