We’re Here To Help, Salma

Every once in awhile, a headline comes along that makes you stop and think about what’s really important in life - things like B-movies, microwave popcorn and gargantuan sweater monkeys.

Such was the sorely-needed perspective we obtained this afternoon when our friends over at FOX News provided us with what is perhaps the greatest headline to hit Western Civilization since … well, ever.

Ready? Here it is …

Salma Hayek: I’m Addicted to Breastfeeding

Ahhh … and you thought things were going downhill in this country?

Anyway, what’s so great about that headline (well, other than the fact it includes the words “Salma” “Hayek” and “breast”) is the fact that it’s not in any way speculative.

This isn’t the National Enquirer tossing out some unfounded rumor about a presidential candidate (wait … nevermind), this is a reputable news outlet directly quoting Salma Hayek on her new addiction.

“I’m like an alcoholic. It is like, I don’t care if I cry, I don’t care if I am fat, I am just going to do it for one more week, one more month, and then when I see how much good it is doing her and I can’t stop.”

Lean on us, Salma. Lean on us. Oh, and on Penelope, too.