Mirroring the overnight collapse of Asian and European stock markets, the Dow Jones opened this morning in a free fall as investors fretted the seeming inevitability of a long and severe global economic downturn.
Wow … we actually sounded like a real financial news website for a minute there.
Anyway, after stock market plunges in Japan (9.6%), Germany (10.76%), France (10%) and Great Britain (8.67%) over the last few hours, stocks here in America are now tanking as well, people.
As of 9:55 a.m., the Dow Jones had dropped 353 points in the first hour of trading, leading to a rather strange recommendation from FITSNews financial analyst D. Bottoms Dropping:
“Basically, you could remove your entire equity portfolio, purchase a Tony Montana-size mountain of cocaine and snort it until your heart exploded and that would probably be a better and more satisfying investment than the American stock market right now,” Dropping said. “In fact, that’s precisely the advice we’re giving our clients right now.”
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