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Gwyneth Couldn’t Be Any More Annoying

It seems Gwyneth Paltrow’s mission in life is to create more and more reasons for us to be annoyed by her. In fact it’s been going on ever since she was born (she’s British), which leads us to believe she’s doing it on purpose.

Anyway, to recap the reasons we’ve never liked Paltrow - she’s British, she’s a waif, she’s overrated, spelling her name reminds us of not being able to buy a vowel on Wheel of Fortune, she married to that guy who sings for Oldgay, and lately she’s started looking more and more like our mothers. Which unless your name is Kirdy Stevens isn’t particularly arousing.

Ironically, when we typed “waif” into Google just a minute ago to make sure we spelled it right (yes, we’re that dumb) we accidentally hit the “News” search instead of the “Web” search. And wouldn’t you know it the first picture on the results page (after Rush Limbaugh, anyway) was … Gwyneth Paltrow.

Oh, and now Paltrow has suddenly become a shoulder for Madonna to cry on during her divorce war with whoever that guy … what’s his name … you know, the rich guy …

Anyway, from our friends at The Superficial:

So, basically, Gwyneth Paltrow’s outpouring of support is to pick up the phone and say “God, what an asshole” for twenty minutes. Wow. I’m surprised people don’t pass her on the street and yell “Holy sh*t, it’s Mother Teresa - if she believed in cell phones!”

In case you were wondering, we also have a nasty head cold going around the office today, which (sniffle sniffle) we’re also blaming on Paltrow.

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