This Chick Married Howard Stern

Radio “shock jock” Howard Stern tied the knot in New York City yesterday, marrying “model” Beth Ostrosky. Seriously, people, we’ve been looking at pictures of this chick all day and have come to the conclusion that she’s what our founding editor describes as “a genius … from the neck down.”

Aside from the fact that you could land a 747 on the bridge of her nose, she looks sorta like what you’d expect to see if a Puma got together with muskrat – and then hired a below-average plastic surgeon.

Anyway, from AP:

The bride wore a white chiffon gown with cutaway back and sides. Officiating at the ceremony was actor Mark Consuelos, Kelly Ripa’s husband and an ordained minister.

The 180 guests included Joan Rivers, Barbara Walters, Billy Joel, Steve Schirripa, Chevy Chase, Tommy Mottola, and Donald and Melania Trump.

They dined on tuna tataki, scrambled eggs with white truffles and striped bass with caviar — washed down with wine and champagne. Songwriter Phoebe Snow serenaded the newlyweds with “You Send Me,” and Joel crooned “The Stranger.”

The Stranger, eh? Classy … although the tuna tataki does sound positively delectable.