Charlize Our Heroine

Actress Charlize Theron has always been pretty high on our hot list, but as of yesterday she’s officially attained a level of perfection we never knew existed.

In addition to being one of the most gorgeous women to e’re bestride this earth, it turns out Theron is also perhaps the greatest social commentator since Plato. Seriously, people, we usually tinge stuff like this with lethal doses of sarcasm, but we’re as serious as Jim Lehrer about this.

Here’s what Theron had to say about the so-called “reality” show The Hills during an MTV interview:

Why is it so big? It’s about nothing! This is a free country. Freedom of speech! You can tell me right now to my face that “Reindeer Games” was a piece of sh–. That’s totally fine. But “The Hills” is about nothing. I think the girls are beautiful and when they cry their mascara runs and that’s real, but I don’t get it!

In case you’re unfamiliar with The Hills, feel free to educate yourself (here, here, here, here and here). Of course you won’t really be educating yourself, it’ll be like killing brains cells without the enjoyable side effects of getting drunk and casting your inhibitions to the wind.

Seriously, people. Theron could not have said it any better. The Hills exists solely because the vast majority of American girls aged 14-20 are catty, vapid, jealous, conniving, materialistic and self-obsessed little brats whose role models can’t go five words without interjecting the words “like” or “um” into their conversations.

As a result, we’re breeding petty little bitches in the country by the millions, people.

God bless you, Charlize Theron. Somebody had to say it …