Now That’s A Retainer

An Illinois attorney was suspended from practicing law for fifteen months this week after it was revealed that he accepted private lap dances in lieu of payment from a client.

Needless to say, this news prompted our founding editor to a) spring a raging erection and b) simultaneously convene an emergency meeting of our online advertising department with specific instructions for them to “immediately begin accepting alternative arrangements for payment.”

What can we say? He’s a legendary multi-tasker …

Anyway, from Breitbart:

(The attorney), who practices in the northern Illinois city of DeKalb, and his client mutually agreed that she’d perform nude dances for him in his office as a way to reduce her legal fees, the commission’s report said.

He credited her for $534 toward his bill for services of various legal matters, the report said.

While she agreed to the performances, the client contended he touched her inappropriately during those dances, and she went to police in 2002 with sexual assault allegations.

Erwin denied any inappropriate touching happened, and he was never charged criminally, the report said. He declined to comment on the panel’s decision Thursday. The woman no longer works as a stripper, the report said.

Wow. As John Cougar Mellencamp once said after he was John Cougar but before he was John Mellencamp, “ain’t that America.”

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