Gamecock Fans Are Classy

What can we say about South Carolina football? In addition to sucking donkey balls, our once-beloved
Gamecocks can’t seem to get it through their heads that mediocrity isn’t “swagger-worthy.”

For some reason, the Lamecocks (Shamecocks) still insist on pretending they’re the friggin’ late eighties Miami Hurricanes, shaking their tail feathers and puffing their chests as if self-aggrandizement – not defense – is going to win them the conference championship that’s eluded them since 1969.

As we’ve noted in the past, South Carolina’s brain-dead athletics department perpetuates this mediocrity via multiple means, from the team’s played-out Also Sprach Zarathrustra entrance to the utterly-senseless and self-inhibiting celebrations of first downs (as opposed to touchdowns).

Ask yourselves this: When was the last time you saw Florida, Georgia or Tennessee raising a ruckus every time they move the football ten friggin’ yards?

Anyway, the lone comforting constant in all of this perpetual under-achievement on the field has been the typical, Gibraltar-esque Gamecock football fan, who despite residing in the dumbest state in the country has nonetheless demonstrated remarkable loyalty and perseverance (if not intelligence) in rooting for the most underachieving program in the history of college sports.

Well, now even the lovable self-loathing of South Carolina’s fan base is slipping away, as evidenced by this post from Fanblogs.

Taken from an ESPN “screen-grab,” a Gamecock fan is caught shooting “double birds” to N.C. State quarterback Russell Wilson, who had to leave the Wolfpack’s season-opening loss to South Carolina two weeks ago on a stretcher … immobilized with a grade three concussion (i.e., the worst you can have).

“You stay classy, South Carolina,” the post sarcastically sounds off.

Sure, this drunk frat-ass is an exception to the thousands of USC fans who gave Wilson a standing “O” as he was being wheeled from the stadium (which is what “Gamecock officials” will no doubt say), but that doesn’t change the fact that his two-fingered salute remains emblematic of everything that’s wrong with this program.

In addition to recruiting untalented players who simply cannot compete with top-tier (and now bottom-tier) SEC programs on the field, we also recruit jackasses who can’t stay out of trouble off the field.

Which is why it’s so frustrating to watch these jerk-offs come streaming out of the locker room on Saturdays talking trash like they’re Southern Cal – an “all bark, no bite” approach to playing the game that is clearly starting to infect the fans in the stands.

As Jerry Maguire said, “Just shut up. Shut up and play the game.”

Winning isn’t everything, but it is a prerequisite for arrogance.

Oh, and as for that waste of sperm and eggs who was caught flipping off a guy who’s being wheeled out of your home stadium on a stretcher, here’s hoping somebody finds you and demonstrates what a “grade three concussion” is all about.

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