Balloon Pork Is Hazardous To Your Health
When it comes to utterly worthless state expenditures, the annual $100,000 we shell out for the Great Southeastern BalloonFest is by far one of the arch-offenders. Paying that kind of money so a bunch of inbred Anderson County, S.C. residents can point up to the sky and grunt unintelligibly at all the purty colors is a waste.
Which makes it not unlike Anderson County, itself come to think of it.
Anyway, this notorious slice of political pork almost cost one Michigan balloonist his life yesterday, as the balloon he was riding in apparently popped (or something) and plummeted 9,000 feet straight down. Amazingly, the dude survived when tree branches snagged his balloon just twelve feet from the ground.
Of course since nobody’s content with simply wasting our money to recklessly endanger people’s lives, now we’re going to waste even more money getting to the bottom of this near-death incident.
In fact, the National Transportation Safety Board is investigating “every aspect” of the accident, according to Great Southeast BalloonFest spokesman Dan Stukas, whose title commands our respect.
From the Anderson Independent-Mail:
“The NTSB is going to look at every aspect of this to make sure it doesn’t happen again,†Stukas said. “So, yes, the balloons are going to fly again in Anderson. This is a great place to fly.â€
First of all, “duh” – a balloon popped, and when balloons pop, the last time we checked they fall.
This isn’t the friggin’ Challenger explosion, people. Nobody shot down a Lufthansa.
Second, of course these balloon junkies think that Anderson County is “a great place to fly.”
After all, it’s located in the only state in the nation that’s stupid enough to pay for such foolishness.
Comments
By Bruce Van Vliet on September 6th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
At least the state wasn’t as stupid as the newspaper company that pays your salary. Maybe someone will “pop” you and see if you go buzzing around the room! And it would be free.
By Michael Tondee on September 12th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Here we go again, another idiotic political has-been of some sort who thinks the fact that he can string together a couple of sentences and hurl insults in a blog makes him somebody.
Who taught you how to use the internet anyway? Must have been quite an accomplishment for you to move from crayons to a computer! Your mom must be so proud.
The other poster has the right idea, popping you would be the ticket except for the fact that you would release noxious gas instead of hot air. Don’t know if we could stand the smell of that.
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