Mississippi’s Mad

By fitsnews • on August 27, 2008

REBEL ARMIES SET TO INVADE SOUTH CAROLINA

FITSNews – August 27, 2008 - Since we had no idea anybody in Mississippi could read – let alone operate a computer – we figured it was okay to make a little joke yesterday about their third-world status.

Sure, we could’ve been a little more sensitive in choosing our humor (we basically implied that they weren’t a state and that we hoped they got hit by Hurricane Gustav), but let’s face it people … when you’re as cataclysmically-stupid as we are here in South Carolina, if you can’t make fun of Mississippi, who the hell can you make fun of?

Anyway, it turns out our little quip ended up on several Mississippi media chatrooms (again, we didn’t even know they had electricity ), spawning a veritable torrent of outrage. From one Missippite:

You are a true horseâ€™s ass with no regard for your fellow human beings. You have no idea what the people of the Gulf Coast or New Orleans did to prepare for Hurricane Katrina or anything else about either state.

And from another:

You are one sorry SOB for even thinking such a thing, much like putting it in print. Obviously, you have never been to the Great State of Mississippi and you live in ignorance. Bite me!

Jeez, Mississippians, why so angry? It’s not our fault they outlawed lynching in your state (when was that, last week?) and y’all have nothing better to do than sit around in your Klan robes defending the honor of a state so pathetic that even South Carolina can get away with ripping on it.

Seriously, even our football teams are better than yours. And our football teams suck. So … if all y’all would kindly just “jump down, turn around and pick a bale of cotton,” we’ve got other states to pick on … like Georgia.

UPDATE – BTW, Trent Lott sucks.

Comments

By confused on August 27th, 2008 at 7:54 am

from a transplanted mississippian, it may or may not be useful for you to know that jokes about hurricanes are about as funny to mississippians as are jokes about low-flying airplanes to people in manhattan. seriously.

oh, and i’d put ole miss against any other school/state on the planet in the only category that really matters. don’t know which one that is? i’ll give you a hint–in years past there was a reason trent lott’s office was the most popular place on the hill in the summer time.

By Hot Larry on August 27th, 2008 at 8:37 am

If Trent Lott’s office was that popular, it was because they had free booze and the staffers looked like hookers. On the Hill, nothing works better.

By Ben in Jackson on August 27th, 2008 at 9:33 am

Yes, Mississippi can read. Yes, we have electricity. And yes, Katrina is a still a sore subject. While I, and I am sure most Mississippians, understand that your comment was meant in jest, please realize that there are still thousands of families displaced from the immense damage caused by Katrina.

And please ask Rick to refrain from calling me a “butt fuck” as I don’t think my fragile psyche could handle such a devestating insult.

By Roberta on August 27th, 2008 at 9:40 am

You have the right idea. Whatever you do, don’t ever cross the Mississippi state lines heading our way. Stay where you are. We sure don’t need your kind around here and you probably wouldn’t even do a Klan robe justice anyway.