Try Not To Breathe

U.S. CYCLING TEAM STIRS IT UP IN THE LAND OF LONG DUK DONG

FITSNews – August 7, 2008 – America’s cycling team created a major diplomatic “doh!” when they arrived in China for the Olympic Games this week wearing black masks over their faces.

Ostensibly to protect their finely-tuned lungs from the dirty air of the Chinese capital, the masks didn’t go over so well with the Long Duk Dongers, prompting some PR flak for the U.S. Olympic Committee to draft the following exercise in verbal ridiculousness …

“The wearing of protective masks upon our arrival into Beijing was strictly a precautionary measure we as athletes chose to take, and was in no way meant to serve as an environmental or political statement,” the athletes said. “We deeply regret the nature of our choices. Our decision was not intended to insult BOCOG (Beijing Organizing Committee of the 2008 Olympic Games) or countless others who have put forth a tremendous amount of effort to improve the air quality in Beijing.

Jeez, what a bunch of politically-correct pussies.  Our statement would have read “Dear China, Your air is dirty, and we deeply regret having to breathe it. Sincerely, The U.S. Cycling Team.”

Seriously, people. If you’re going to make what is most assuredly an environmental and political statement, at least have the balls to do it proudly and without equivocation.