Sic “Can’t Be Faded”
WORLD’S REIGNING BODYSURFING CHAMP DEPARTING FOR WEEK-LONG TOURNAMENT
FITSNews – July 10, 2008 – We lost the “services” of our founding editor Sic Willie for a week once already this summer, which is why we were quite surprised when he rolled into the office this morning and announced that he was ditching us yet again.
Apparently, he’s headed back to the South Carolina coast starting tomorrow to defend his “Kahuna Cup” at the annual Atlantic Ocean Bodysurfing Championships, which means that articles here on the blog will no doubt be fewer and further between next week.
Believe it or not, Sic is to bodysurfing what Bill Gates is to computers, Eric Clapton is to the guitar or Pam Anderson is to government-approved floation devices. In the words of ESPN bodysurfing analyst Erin Andrews, “he doesn’t just ride a wave, he makes sweet passionate love to it in a way that arouses my innermost longings.”
Anyway, don’t fret Sic’s absence too much, because the FITS gals are still here and we’ve got several hot stories scheduled for the coming week – including another potentially huge scandal involving the government program we love to hate. That’s right, stay tuned …
Comments
By Lufton Pittman on July 10th, 2008 at 9:45 am
Here’s a t-shirt for you to sport during your victory interview… should you defend, of course:
http://www.stoopster.com/erin_andrews.html
By Slim Shady on July 10th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
When was last year’s Kahouna Cup? After I left to come hme I take it… You’re going down Sic Willie!!!
By Believe It Not (a.k.a. Sic Willie's Stalker) on July 10th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
-BIN News Flash!
Poor sic(k) willie was emasculated today at the Atlantic Ocean Body Surfing Championships when the parents of a student left behind by the shameful SC minimally adequate education standard met sic(k) willie at the high tide mark with a razor sharp oyster knife.
“Take this you voucher scam fanatic,” shouted the loving Mom.
“Ouch,” screamed sic(k) willie as the oyster knife drove home and brought sic(k) willie to his knees with a scream that could qualify him as a soloist at the Vienna Boys’ Choir.
BIN News – Always an Hour Ahead of sic(k) willie mews
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