“Awww #$%*” June 12, 2008
Posted by fitsnews in : Satire, Sports , trackback
FARTKNOCKERS’ SLUGGER HEADED TO DISABLED LIST
FITSNews - June 12, 2008 - Along with the hot-hitting Chase Utley tearing it up at second base, St. Louis first baseman Albert Pujols has been the glue holding together Sic Willie’s slumping FITS Fartknockers fantasy baseball franchise.
With a .347 average, sixteen dingers and 42 runs batted in, Pujols’ stellar play has helped offset the tribal funk that has the Fartknockers currently languishing in fourth-place in the Great Santini League standings.
Pujols is now headed to the DL for three weeks, though, and our founding editor is understandably less than pleased with his prospects of remaining competitive, as evidenced by his “awww #$%*” quote that woke us up loudly this morning (and which also serves as the headline for this story).
Fortunately, Pujols appears to have avoided a much more serious calf injury that could have knocked him out for months, not weeks, something we’re sure ESPN’s Erin Andrews will discuss with Sic once the two of them are decent again … err … available. Damn you, paparazzi! Couldn’t you have permitted Sic’s final bachelor fling a little more privacy?
Comments»
Duncan and Mather are both available for trade.
PS: I failed to receive adequate praise for my “Cut Ceips, Add Davis” note the other day. I don’t care where you are in the standings — such as, for example, the basement, as I am — that is good stuff.
SF-
That was pure genius. It is funny though that Great Santini Interim Acting Commissioner Sic Willie could continue to outrank multiple members of the South Carolina Senate when it comes to the most famous fantasy league of all time.
BTW, Chase Headley? WTF?
-FITSNews