DJ Slick On Beverly Hills Cop 4
OUR MOVIE CRITIC THROWS DOWN THE GAUNTLET TO AXEL FOLEY
By DJ Slick
FITSNews – May 30, 2008 – Are you freaking kidding me? Eddie Murphy has announced that he’s going to dust off Axel Foley and hit us with Beverly Hills Cop 4? Now don’t get me wrong, Cop 1 and 2 are classics, but 3 reminded me of that time I got my balls shaved. Everything was great during the lathering up phase (movie trailer) but then my ball barber (female, of course) turned into Freddie friggin’ Kruger, and the fun and games were over.
So it was with Cop 3. Never laughed. Not once.
It’s time for these old farts to move on. Quit screwing up great memories of classic flicks with these geriatric, genuflective atrocities. Hey Eddie, if you and Harrison Ford want to remake Brokeback Mountain, knock yourselves out. I won’t see that either, but at least you won’t be screwing with legendary cinema. (Well, maybe you will).
Aren’t there any new ideas in Hollywood? No more old shit!
Unless of course Katharine Ross or Jane Seymour will consider doing nude scenes in Cop 4. Maybe even together! Pull that off, Eddie, and I’ll cover you with a hot review. Well, after I stage the biggest hand party since Borat caught Azimov with the Pamela Anderson magazine. So, Eddie, you know what you gotta do. Call their agents and get busy.
Comments
By Earl Capps on May 30th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Will, your appreciation for classic cinema is appreciated. However, while I agree with your assessment of this series, Trading Places and the 48 Hours movies stand out as the best testaments to Murphy’s acting abilities.
Not to mention his vocabulary was a lot more colorful back then.
The third BHC absolutely sucked. I think he was trying to be more family-friendly or something, instead of just entertaining adults.
If he could make it as edgy as his first two, or even better yet, something like 48 Hours, it’d be great. If not, you’re right, it will probably suck.
But I’ve never had my balls shaved. Sounds painful.
By reggie on May 30th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
i would like to see a bill and teds awesome adventure 2. but i guess all of the creativity has already been used.
you must really REALLY trust someone to get your balls shaved. thats worse than the time i fell asleep in ms. payne’s class…
By Monkeydarts on May 31st, 2008 at 1:44 pm
You should never have that performed with a cheese grater. Live and learn.
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