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Pay Attention, Fat People

By fitsnews • on May 27, 2008

NOW YOU’RE CAUSING GLOBAL WARMING, TOO

By Mande Wilkes

FITSNews - May 27, 2008 - Unsatisfied with blaming fat people for high healthcare costs, awkward air travel, and the general decline of the nation, researchers have now pegged global warming on the obese. It’s a happy day for liberals everywhere … finally, they can talk about their two biggest concerns not as separate issues but as a single, linked dilemma. Phil Edwards, part of the research team, is representative of the hysteria:

“We are all becoming heavier and it is a global responsibility. Obesity is a key part of the big picture.”

This apparent correlation gives certain people just the excuse they need to lecture the rest of us, and we can almost feel the guilt-tripping about to reach a fever pitch. Basically, if you’re eating a cheeseburger, you’re not only hastening your own slow demise, you’re also causing eternal planetary doom.

Edwards and his team attribute their findings to the increased fuel required to transport fat people. Also, researchers concluded that the obese use more agricultural resources because they … you guessed it, eat more. Huh … we never would’ve guessed that …

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Comments

By Earl on May 27th, 2008 at 9:37 am

That’s just the beginning. Like any good Jacobins, they will conclude that those over 300 pounds are to blame … then 200 … then 150 … then 100 … and then they’ll realize that not only does eating consume resources, but so does exercising … and for that matter, so does breathing and sleeping. To them, the choice will then become clear - humans or Mother Earth.

Before long, they’ll just give everyone a cyanide capsule, telling them to do their duty for Mother Earth, and send machete-wielding executioners (after all, liberals don’t believe in guns), to finish off the remaining infidels.

By Not Al Gore on May 27th, 2008 at 9:56 am

“The environmental movement has been hijacked by political activists who are using environmental rhetoric to cloak agendas like class warfare and anticorporatism that in fact have almost nothing to do with ecology” Environmentalist Patrick Moore, former director of Greenpeace—Who quit the organization—because he came to believe that the environmental movement had become an industry addicted to raising money through unscientific scaremongering. What global warming?