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Jessica Alba Got Hitched

By fitsnews • on May 21, 2008

SIC WILLIE ON SUICIDE WATCH

FITSNews - May 21, 2008 - Even though she’s pregnant and pregnant chicks are kinda creepy, Jessica Alba is still the hottest living thing on the planet. And even though his own nuptuals are impending, our founding editor Sic Willie was still clinging to the whole “threesome with Jessica Alba” idea, which let’s face was still hovering in the “fifty-fifty” category … on one of Sic’s modest days.

Anyway, those dreams have now been shattered:

Actress Jessica Alba has married her boyfriend Cash Warren in a private ceremony, her publicist has confirmed … the couple got engaged in December after the Sin City star announced she was expecting a child, due this summer.

Alba, 27, has been dating Warren since autumn 2004. The pair met on the set of The Fantastic Four, on which Warren, 31, worked as a director’s assistant.

Needless to say this news has sent Sic on an ice cream and Twizzlers binge not unlike the one that accompanied his epic fantasy baseball collapse last September. The good news is that his pre-evaporated man tears are selling on E-Bay for only eleventy kabillion dollars … what a bargain!