Black Is The New Black
CROTCH ROCKETS, BUTT FLOSS AND NOISES, OH MY!
By Mande Wilkes
FITSNews – May 20, 2008 - There is so much self-luv among blacks that we gotta say, the FITS gals are beginning to feel slightly disenfranchised. Seriously, why can’t we proudly display our butt floss from the back of a brand new Suzuki GSX 1300R?
Anyway, this Friday marks the kickoff of the Atlantic Beach Bike Fest … a proud day for our state which consists of crotch-rockets slicing right-of-ways where there were none, thongs threaded between the brown cheeks of badonkadonks, vehicles bouncing quicker than a babydaddy - all punctuated with the feral “black is beautiful” mantra.
It’s kind of like a 4-day rap video, except with round-the-way-girls instead of Brazilian goddesses.
Though the bikers are spread across the Grand Strand, Atlantic Beach is the official host of the celebration. (Wait … what’s that? Never heard of Atlantic Beach? The rest of the universe refers to it as North Myrtle Beach. Every city has a ghetto. That’s where Atlantic Beach comes in. All three blocks of it). Anyway, Black Bike Week is pretty much the only thing that Atlantic Beach has going for it. The town is completely obsessed with its blackness. In fact, its slogan is: “Town of Atlantic Beach – The Black Pearl.” How very….meta. And brazenly, blatantly racist.
Look, people, until we can appreciate diversity in our bike festivals, how in the hell are we supposed to appreciate it in our hearts?
Comments
By Rog on May 20th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Just a point of clarification… but I believe that Atlantic Beach is dubbed the “Black Pearl” mainly because of it’s historical significance in the black history of SC. Among other things, it was the only beach along the Grand Strand that blacks could vacation back in the Jim Crow era. I’m not sure if it still remains today, but only a few years ago Ocean Drive did not run through Atlantic Beach. Coming from the north end, you would have to drive out to Kings Hwy and go around to continue along the oceanfront road to MB.
But it’s a safe bet that a microscopic percentage of the participants in Black Bike Week are aware of such history.
By Palmetto Pulse on May 20th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Welcome Mande Wilkes! I think you remind me a little bit of the South Park creators…an equal opportunity offender. I can tell you’ll “fit” in well with the girls.
Kudos for saying what some of us would only dare to think.
By Robert Byrd D. WV on May 20th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Better there than here!!!
By baker on May 20th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Yeah, I think Rog has the history right — that Atlantic Beach was historically the “black” beach on the Grand Strand (meaning that’s where black people were allowed to vacation). Perhaps the “hosting” of the bike event is a nod to that history.
By Negatron on May 20th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
What is your point, Mande? That a historically-black beach taking public notice of that fact is “brazenly, blatently racist?” They don’t say “whites not allowed,” do they? Or “whites aren’t as good or capable as blacks,” either, right?
Of course, Harley week is the very apex of civilization.
I think the title should have been “You Know What? Black People Suck!”
By Jeremiah Wright on May 20th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
You are not very funny or insightful. Thoroughly unimpressed.
By Earl on May 20th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Negatron? Is that a transformer?
By FanofMande on May 20th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Negatron I would love to see you jump on a crotch rocket and be that one white guy is so sure they will happily accept a cracker to hang out with. I am absolutely sure you would get your ass kicked. But maybe you are into that kind of thing.
By reggie on May 20th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
people, negatron is just another inbred, drunk, and just plain stupid racist.
well let me tell you negatron, (wonder how long it took you to switch the ‘m’ from megatron with the ‘n’ that you put in) your racist ass doesnt scare me in any way. heck if you wanted me to, ill go over there and pay your mom for what she did last night.
oh yeah, ill be over there in a while (if you can count that far) so tell your mom to get ready.
By Believe It Not (a.k.a. Sic Willie's Stalker) on May 20th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Mande,
The pic sic(k) willie posted of you reminds us of the 14 year old run-a-way he picked up recently at a I-95 truck stop. That you?
Your racist post is unimpressive.
No wonder you finished in the bottom 20 percent of your spelling bee. Get sic(k) willie a good lawyer. With Rupert on his case, he’ll need a good one. Or, go broke, again.
BIN News Editorial Staff
P.S. We have a mutual friend. Looking forward…………
By Willie P. Richardson on May 22nd, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Happy black Memorial Day. I accidently planed a vacation to the beach for the weekend. Most of Myrtle Beach closes because of the damage and theft that occurs during those few days. Even The House of Blues closes. Wait a minute last week was I guess “white” biker’s week but I am not aware of any stores or restaurants closing!! Why is that????? Is it racist or just statistics that they lose more during those two days in theft then the rest of the year? Hey it might be that the bathrooms in several businesses were destroyed during those couple of days. Hey when did the blacks quit boycotting SC? Let’s put the confederate flag back up. haha
By reggie on May 22nd, 2008 at 7:26 pm
hey, retard, many people have holidays on memorial day and try to spend time with their families. so i guess when a store closes on christmas, i can count on you, willie p. richardson, to attempt to call it a racist move.
God, why are there so many racist/stupid people in the world.
oh yeah, the civil war ended a couple of years ago the last time i checked. so check your history book, mine might be wrong mr richardson.