Ain’t Nothing Like The Real Thing, Baby
JENNIFER ANISTON AND JOHN MAYER “HOT AND HEAVY BUT IN THAT VERY COOL WAY”
FITSNews – May 9, 2008 – To understand just how toxic John Mayer CD’s are to a male’s music credibility, consider the fact that Sic Willie was abruptly uninvited from a leading indie rock festival this summer after organizers spotted a Mayer disc in his Jeep recently. Sic pleaded that the disc was “a gift from some chick,” but we all know the truth, people. He secretly grooves to John Mayer every chance he gets.
Which makes Sic not unlike Jennifer Aniston (she of the world’s most anti-climactic lesbian kiss), who is getting a hastily-arranged private concert from her new boyfriend on the set of her upcoming film:
“Everything was changed at the last minute so John could do this for her. He’s crazy about Jen.”
Awwww … and here’s more on their budding relationship:
The pair have fast-tracked their romance says an insider, “It’s hot and heavy but in that very cool way.” The insider on the set adds, “John isn’t going to hide his adoration and he’s telling everyone what a cool chick Jen is.”
We hate to be Dudley Downers here, but the only way this is going to end for Jennifer is at the bottom of a Kleenex box and a ten-gallon drum of ice cream. To borrow a line from Tyler Durden, John Mayer may indeed “sing faggoty songs,” but he’s plowing through the A-list celebrity kitty like a wheat thresher. There are generic brand batteries that will outlive this “relationship.”
Comments
Trackbacks