It’s May Day, People

TIME TO HONOR THE TOP TEN COMMIE BASTARDS IN S.C. GOVERNMENT

May 1, 2008 – Since the Soviet Union collapsed back in 1991, people have forgotten what a big deal May 1 was in the old “Evil Empire.” And while “International Workers Day” isn’t an official holiday in America (editor’s note: thank God ),  we decided we’d celebrate the occasion by releasing a list of the “Top Ten Commie Bastards” in S.C. State Government.

Why? Because it’s appropriate. Oh, and we’re rabid neo-McCarthyites, of course. With a scorching case of … nevermind.

All hyperbole aside, the ten South Carolina officials we’ve selected for this list form the nucleus of everything that’s wrong with this state, and represent the chief opponents of long-overdue reforms that might actually turn things around. Basically, they’ve made the decision that government should fix everything, run everything and … you guessed it … pay for everything. 

Anyway, check out our list and see for yourself whether or not these goose-stepping boots fit …

10. Converse Chellis, (R) State Treasurer – South Carolina had a chance last year to move to a true democratic form of government – you know, where the legislature makes the laws, the executive branch enforces the laws and the judicial branch interprets them? Of course that all went down the drain when the legislature elected Chellis to the State Treasurer’s office. Now it’s back to shady no-bid contracts and secret slush funds, people. 

9. Bobby Harrell, (R) House Speaker - The “Mayor of Importantville” is a slave to pretty much every anti-competitive force that’s holding our state back, most notably the failed educrat establishment. And given his unrequited love of special interest contributions, it’s easy to see why the biggest spending orgy in state history kicked off right after he became Speaker. 

8. David Thomas, (R) State Senator - This guy’s Senate Banking & Insurance Committee is pretty much the legislative and public relations arm of the Appleseed Legal Justice Center, one of the most liberal, anti-business special interests in the state. ‘Nuff said … 

7. Harry Cato, (R) House LCI Chairman - Another powerful “Republican” committee chairman, Cato has sold our state’s best interests down the river more times than a Mississippi slaverunner. His ability to manipulate the legislative process on behalf of ambulance-chasing TV lawyers is legendary, and who can forget his corrupt, backroom bargain to line himself up for the Speaker’s chair?  

6. Jean Toal, S.C. Chief Justice – Let’s see, “Queen Jean” runs an Soviet-style attorney discipline system, arbitrarily changes our state’s bar exam scores and rules that illegal immigrants ought to get workers’ comp benefits.  On top of that, she wants to give everybody in state government a big phat raise for completely stinking up the joint.

5. Dan “Egg-Tooth” Cooper, House Ways & Means Chairman – This guy looks at your tax dollars like a methamphetamine addict looks at a bag full of other people’s credit cards. Plus, he’s all about using that money to build monuments to himself and his family. Who knows how many kabillion dollars we’ll have to shell out to build the “Tomb of the Egg-Tooth?”

4. Jim Rex, State Superintendent – When critics refer to your department the “Ministry of Failure and Non-Competition,” it’s pretty clear you’re operating on a socialist model … but the real problem is that Rex and his educrat cronies keep getting socialist results. South Carolina has spent over a billion dollars in new money on our public school system, but due to bureaucratic incompetence and a lack of real choices for parents we still rank last in the nation when it comes to educating our kids.

3. Bill Gillespie, State Economist – Talk about the root of the problem. When your state’s chief economist refuses to factor the stimulative effect of lowering people’s tax burden into his economic calculations, you’re never going to get a tax cut passed. 

2. Bill Stern, S.C. Ports Authority Chairman - Thanks to Stern’s rigid inflexibility and preservation of South Carolina’s ass-backward ”total state control” model of port management, our state’s best competitive asset is completely tanking while our competitors continue to capitalize on a global shipping boom. Nice work, Sternovich.

1. Hugh Leatherman, Senate Finance Chairman – Here’s a guy who says he’s ”never seen the economic benefit” of cutting taxes and wants to implement draconian restrictions on protected speech. He’s also the primary architect of the spending orgy that saw South Carolina grow its government by more than 41% over the last three years. He may be the “littlest goose-stepper,” but he towers above the rest of our list in his ability to bring a “command economy” to South Carolina.

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