Barrett Hearts Bloggers April 29, 2008
Posted by fitsnews in : US Politics , 3 comments
AND WE “HEART” HIM
FITSNews - April 29, 2008 - Not coincidentally, our first-ever invitation to participate in a conference call with U.S. Rep. Gresham Barrett was over a little piece of legislation known as the “Blogger Protection Act,” a bill he is co-sponsoring up in Washington which would free blogs from being forced to comply with federal election law. Basically, it would make us just like the mainstream media … only crunchy.
Such a shameless tug at our heartstrings would have engendered an appropriately sarcastic retort were it not for the following three things - a) Barrett’s press secretary is kinda hot, b) the “Blogger Protection Act” is a needed reform and c) Barrett spoke extensively about his support for new media when we interviewed him in his DC office last year.
“All this would do is extend the protection that (blogs) already have under federal regulation in some kind of statute form,” Barrett said on today’s call. “Everybody that I’ve talked to doesn’t see a problem with it. Everybody understands that (bloggers) are becoming more important. It seems to be a medium people are using now that doesn’t varnish over the issues. It’s pretty much the straight scoop.”
Oh yeah, baby. You know where we like it … mmmm, a little to the left now … that’s it … that’s the spot.
Tearful McCready “Can’t Refute” Affair Allegations
Posted by fitsnews in : Pop Culture, Sports , 5 comments
COUNTRY SINGER DOESN’T DENY LONG-TERM AFFAIR WITH ROGER CLEMENS
FITSNews - April 29, 2008 - One day after star pitcher Roger Clemens denied having an affair with country music singer Mindy McCready, the embattled musician is confirming the story to the New York Daily News, a publication that is quickly becoming the Rocket’s worst nightmare.
From the story:
Barricaded behind tightly drawn blinds at her Nashville home Monday, country singer Mindy McCready confirmed a long-term affair with embattled pitcher Roger Clemens.
“I cannot refute anything in the story,” a tearful but resolute McCready told the Daily News, which broke the story at midnight Sunday.
The News reported that the two met in a Florida karaoke bar when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer and Clemens was a 28-year-old ace for the Red Sox and a married father of two.
Ouch. Coupled with the steriod accusations against him, it’s probably safe to say at this point that Roger Clemens is having the worst year ever …
Kudos to the NY Daily News, though, for its descriptive “tearful but resolute” and “barricaded behind tightly drawn blinds” lead-in to the article. We felt like we were there …
Rex For Governor 2010
Posted by fitsnews in : SC Politics , 11 comments
“EXPANDING SHITTY PERFORMANCE TO THE REST OF STATE GOVERNMENT”
FITSNews - April 29, 2008 - In spite of our recent criticism of their efforts, McLovin’ and the boys over at The Palmetto Scoop have penned an excellent post up this morning on how S.C. Superintendent of Education Jim Rex is once again using the bitter fruits of his own department’s failure to advance his political career.
Ironically, that’s how it works in our state. You can completely stink up the joint and still get a billion dollars in new money to keep doing what you’re doing … not to mention mount a bid for higher office while you’re at it. From The Scoop’s story:
Under the guise of a petition drive to create a Constitutional amendment inserting the words “high quality education” into the South Carolina Constitution, State Schools Superintendent Jim Rex has launched what appears to be nothing more than an exploratory Website for a looming 2010 gubernatorial bid …
… on the site, GoodbyeMinimallyAdequate.com, Rex claims the amendment would increase vital education funding …
I think the most pressing minimally adequate feature of our school system is Jim Rex. And I don’t think many folks will have trouble saying goodbye to his lack of leadership.
Amen to that, brother McLovin. We try the whole “more money for public schools” route every damn year with the same sh*tty results, and the only way Rex and his educrat cronies over at the State Ministry of Failure and Non-Competition can show any progress at all is by moving the goalposts.
Seriously, if these guys spent as much time actually attempting to educate our kids as they did trying to artificially inflate test scores and lying about the success of other options, we might actually get somewhere in this ass-backward state.
This Is Not Encouraging
Posted by fitsnews in : Sports , 9 comments
SPURRIER NEEDS TO GET IT IN GEAR, PEOPLE
FITSNews - April 29, 2008 - After last season’s collapse and this season’s sh*tty recruiting class and off-field troubles, the high hopes surrounding South Carolina’s football team under head coach Steve Spurrier have pretty much vanished.
Which isn’t surprising, because this is South Carolina football - where high hopes have historically gone to die.
Anyway, here was Spurrier’s less-than optimistic assessment in today’s La Socialista on the current status of his program, which fielded its worst NFL draft class in seven years:
“Yeah, maybe someday we’ll have some players the scouts want to come see,” Spurrier said.
Wait … “maybe someday?” We’re paying this guy $1.75 million a year (before endorsements) and he says “maybe someday” we’ll have some decent football players in our program? Jeez …
UPDATE - Of course, no matter how bad Carolina sucks, don’t worry … they’re still making damn sure that their mediocre athletic programs are the only game in town.
Fatty Doesn’t Want A Sweaty Wedding
Posted by fitsnews in : Pop Culture , 4 comments
JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT WILL WAIT TILL IT COOLS DOWN TO WED
FITSNews - April 29, 2008 - We’re not fashion experts or anything (or mariners, for that matter), but when your ass is as big as the Queen Mary, it’s probably not a good idea to wear a dress with an anchor on it. Seriously, people might get confused and try to board you.
Anyway, Jennifer Love Hewitt apparently isn’t a fasion expert (or a mariner) either, but she’s smart enough to know that fat people do tend to sweat a little bit more than normal-sized people. Hence this article from People:
With temperatures already hitting 100 degrees in Los Angeles, Jennifer Love Hewitt says she’s in no hurry to get married.
“It won’t be a summer wedding. I won’t be a sweaty bride,” says Hewitt, 28, who announced her engagement to Scottish actor Ross McCall in November.
Wise choice, Jennifer. We hear Iceland is lovely in January, by the way … and the Reykjavík Symphony is absolutely amazing. No joke.
Would You Stalk That? April 28, 2008
Posted by fitsnews in : Pop Culture , add a comment
APPARENTLY SOMEBODY WOULD
FITSNews - April 28, 2008 - We’ve never written about actress Uma Thurman before because a) it’s not 1993 anymore and b) she’s completely unattractive. We’ve also never written about her boobs, which appear to have some sort of magnet inside of them that’s pulling them to the center of the universe.
Anyway, all of that is by way of saying we wouldn’t stalk Uma Thurman. Apparently, somebody would, though, and in fact actually is:
Jack Jordan, 37, is accused of sending harassing e-mails to Thurman’s father and brother, loitering for hours on the steps of Thurman’s Manhattan apartment and visiting her trailer on a movie set … “I feel in love with you,” (one of Jordan’s letters to Thurman) said. “I think you should call me up, let me watch you act on the set some more, we should date or move in together, and then get married.”
Sounds like a plan, dude. Jordan goes on to tell Thurman “I gave up describing the contents of my heart to famous women I don’t know after Carol Channing broke my heart in the early nineties.”
That would be this Carol Channing, people. Boy does this guy know how to pick ‘em! Who will he stalk next, Jennifer Aniston? Betty Boop? Chaka Khan?
This Dude Is Crazy, Racist
Posted by fitsnews in : Presidential Politics , 7 comments
WRIGHT SAYS ATTACK ON HIM IS “ATTACK ON THE BLACK CHURCH”
FITSNews - April 28, 2008 - We’ve purposely stayed away from the racist bloviating of Rev. Jeremiah Wright because - for starters - we’re not stupid enough to assume that everything that comes out of his hate-filled mouth is indicative of positions held by his former parishioner, Barack Obama.
But today Wright pretty much got down on his knees and begged for our contempt, saying that recent criticism of his ass-backwardness was an “attack on the black church.”
Geez … why the hell do black people do this?
Seriously, when we get criticized for the controversial sh*t we say we don’t run around saying it’s “an attack on the Internet.” Rev. Wright is attempting to turn the fact that he’s a racist into everybody else’s fault - at least everybody else who’s white.
That’s bullsh*t, and frankly indicative of the reason we’ve given his rantings such scant attention.
