ACTOR’S DEBUT ALBUM IS WRIST-SLITTING FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY
FITSNews – April 30, 2008 – Surpise … actress Scarlett Johansson is no longer just a movie star, she’s a recording artist, too!
Well … if you consider someone butchering a bunch of Tom Waits covers to be “art.” Which we do, of course, provided they have Scarlett’s knockers.
The good news for Johansson (other than her rack) is that there are some incredibly melodic moments on her new Anywhere I Lay My Head album … the bad news is that all of them occur when she’s not singing.
We know with the economy tanking the way it is there’s a growing market for depressing down-tempo crap like this, but even people who want to kill themselves can appreciate decent vocals.
Johansson’s voice? The best she can hope for is that the CIA buys a bunch of these CD’s to play while they’re interrogating al Queda suspects or something. “You don’t know where Makmoud’s dirty bomb is? Well, let’s just see what Miss Johansson has to say about that (dum-dum-dum).”
Hell, this album doesn’t even hit stores for another three weeks and it’s probably already breaking the Geneva Convention.
By Clement April 30, 2008 at 6:23 am
Haha. I’ve got to agree that she sings like a lemon. My dog could do a better job! At least she’s hotter than her songs ;)
By Monkeydarts April 30, 2008 at 9:08 am
Obviously she isn’t sharp or flat. She’s natural.
By Teletuber April 30, 2008 at 9:14 am
Yeah, her voice isn’t great, but that certainly isn’t a requirement for good music. It does help though. I think I would enjoy it much more if she wasn’t already a famous, rich, spoiled actress. Not much soul there.
By Mickey Blue Eyes April 30, 2008 at 12:47 pm
So the CIA will now have two weapons to use against al Queda members: Scarlett’s album and Mariah Carey’s “Glitter”.
Oh, and “Gigli”
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