Danka …

… FOR A RECORD-SETTING MONTH, PEOPLE

FITSNews – April 30, 2008 – We don’t believe it either, but apparently almost a quarter of a million people visited our little website this month – a new record for FITSNews as well as an entirely unnecessary ego-enhancer for our founding editor, Sic Willie, who will no doubt be even more insufferable than usual around the office today.

In related news, the S.C. Department of Commerce issued a statement this morning saying that workplace productivity across the state was down “almost eleventy kabillion percent” for the month of April due to a “unexplained surge in non-productive Internet activity.”

Alright, we made that last part up, which we’re sure uber-hottie Commerce spokesbabe Kara Borie will no doubt confirm if you give her a call … something Sic Willie does on the hour, every hour. R-r-r-r-r-r-a-w-w-w-w, baby!!!

Anyway, to all y’all who made our record month possible, we’d like to take this opportunity to say ‘thanks.’ Especially to those two meth-heads in Loris, S.C. who agreed to spend all day randomly clicking on our ads provided we support their illegal and self-destructive habits. Meth-heads = Ka-Ching, people. Write that down somewhere …

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