Would You Stalk That?

APPARENTLY SOMEBODY WOULD

FITSNews - April 28, 2008 - We’ve never written about actress Uma Thurman before because a) it’s not 1993 anymore and b) she’s completely unattractive. We’ve also never written about her boobs, which appear to have some sort of magnet inside of them that’s pulling them to the center of the universe.

Anyway, all of that is by way of saying we wouldn’t stalk Uma Thurman. Apparently, somebody would, though, and in fact actually is:

Jack Jordan, 37, is accused of sending harassing e-mails to Thurman’s father and brother, loitering for hours on the steps of Thurman’s Manhattan apartment and visiting her trailer on a movie set … “I feel in love with you,” (one of Jordan’s letters to Thurman) said. “I think you should call me up, let me watch you act on the set some more, we should date or move in together, and then get married.”

Sounds like a plan, dude. Jordan goes on to tell Thurman “I gave up describing the contents of my heart to famous women I don’t know after Carol Channing broke my heart in the early nineties.”

That would be this Carol Channing, people. Boy does this guy know how to pick ‘em! Who will he stalk next, Jennifer Aniston? Betty Boop? Chaka Khan?