We’re Sick Of These Pictures

C’MON … GO IN FOR THE “REAL THING,” GIRLS

FITSNews - April 28, 2008 - Since we only made the whole Miley Cyrus-Hannah Montana connection a few months ago, forgive us for not being completely up to speed on the latest scandal surrounding the fifteen-year-old lip syncher entertainer.

From People:

Miley Cyrus issued a statement exclusively to PEOPLE on Sunday, apologizing for a series of playfully provocative photos that circulated on the Internet last week, as well as those from a racy, as-yet unreleased Vanity Fair photo shoot in which she appears to be nude.

Wait … she’s apologizing? For what? Look, girls. It’s not “lesbian experimentation” if you’re awkwardly touching each other’s tongues with your eyeballs rolled in the back of your head wondering to yourself how the picture is going to turn out. That’s … you know … we don’t really know what that is, except it’s also something dogs can do to babies, and hence not especially arousing.

You gotta just close your eyes and go in for the real thing, ladies, and then relax your body and let the moment take you where it may … otherwise, you’ll end up with lesbian pics that look more like something we used to make our Barbie dolls do to each other.

UPDATE - Cyrus is apparently getting lots of support from other kid stars and several of her Disney buddies - all people we’ve never heard of. Now if only McGruff the Crime Dog would weigh in … 

Comments

By Sic Willie is a Creep on April 28th, 2008 at 12:15 pm

She is only 15, you are really messed up. You’d better hope they don’t do a Texas style round-up on your ass.

By justWondern on April 28th, 2008 at 2:00 pm

“something we used to make our Barbie dolls do to each other” Damn Will, I’m hope to hell someone other than you wrote this.