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SHIVER ME TIMBERS! THIS STORY IS EVIDENTLY GOING TO KEEP ON GIVING

FITSNews – April 21, 2008 – Ever since we broke the news of State Sen. Randy Scott’s DUI arrest yesterday afternoon, the Lowcountry mainstream media has been feasting on the story. In fact, the scandal has already “gone Columbia,” as we like to call it, with Democratic State Sen. Robert Iford (a.k.a. Sen. Ford) calling Scott’s arrest “a political set-up.”

Whatever. As far as we’re concerned, the biggest news coming out of Scott’s DUI dust-up is the fact he’s got a peg-leg:

“The Seargent knew that Senator Scott only had one leg,” (Scott’s Attorney) said. “But yet he wanted him to walk a heel to toe test in the rain and stand with his eyes closed and his head tilted back. You can’t do that with a one-legged man.”

We were going to compile a list of other things you can’t do with a one-legged man (like hopscotch), but we decided that making pirate jokes would be a much more productive use of our time. Like trying to come up with a knock-knock joke where the answer is “Randy Scott’s leg.”