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New Polls

ONE OF THREE PEOPLE IS GOING TO BE THE NEXT PRESIDENT

FITSNews - April 16, 2008 - We hate to show off our big brains, but we know for a fact that the next President of the United States is going to be one of three people.

According to our sophisticated polling methods (above ), we’ve been able to determine that the race for the White House has come down to John McCain, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Impressive analysis on our part? You better believe it, people. But of these three finalists, who’s going to win? Well, there’s some brand new polling information on that question today from Reuters/ Zogby, although be forewarned these polls are already obsolete and aren’t based on dogs doing tricks … just politicians …

From the latest data:

Republican presidential candidate John McCain runs even with Democratic rival Barack Obama and narrowly leads Hillary Clinton in potential match-ups in November, according to a Reuters/Zogby poll released on Wednesday.

McCain was seen as a better steward of the economy than either Democrat despite their repeated criticism of his economic credentials. He led Obama by 3 points and Clinton by 5 points on the question of who would best manage the economy.

In the Democratic race, Obama widened his national lead over Clinton to 51 percent to 38 percent, up from a 3-point edge in March, in polling taken before a controversy erupted over Obama’s comments about small-town residents.

Ah … so this brand new data is already dated.

You know, the more we think about it, polls are a lot like penises, people. Everybody’s got one. Well, half of everybody, anyway (editor’s note: the “boy” half ).

And why the hell do people even bother to take national polls when it’s pretty obvious that we pick our presidents based on what voters in three kooky states think?

Well, six states counting the general election. Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina give us our choices, and then Pennsylvania, Ohio and Florida pick the winner.

Hell, ask Rudy Giuliani what leading in the national polls gets you …

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