Byrnes, Baby, Byrnes

FARTKNOCKERS’ NEWEST ACQUISITION LOOKS LIKE HE’S FITTING RIGHT IN

FITSNews - April 11, 2008 - For those of you who’ve never dumped several ounces of baby powder down your trousers, don’t knock it ’till you’ve tried it. It feels really, really good.

In fact our own Sic Willie - who swears by the technique - has mandated that his FITS Fartknockers fantasy baseball players perform the ritual prior to every single game, which we’re sure came as quite a surprise to newly-acquired outfielder Eric Byrnes.

Byrnes and pitcher Jeremy Bonderman were traded to the Fartknockers today in exchange for first baseman Mark Teixeira, who went from FITS to two-time Great Santini League champion Frenchman’s Folly.

In his first game in a Fartknocker uniform, Byrnes homered and drove in two runs.

Comments

By Mike Reino on April 13th, 2008 at 12:00 am

Beware of the Byrnes, Will. He’s good five tool guy, but he tired out late in the year on me last year. Five tool guys are like supermodels - they look real nice, but they don’t do any one thing quite good enough to keep them around.

By The Great One on April 13th, 2008 at 9:47 pm

Dump the powder on the owner’s head for that trade. You’ll be crying like a baby at the end of the year,if you aren’t already.