SANTINI GURU SAYS SIC WILLIE’S SQUAD HEADED FOR THIRD CONSECUTIVE PLAYOFF APPEARANCE
FITSNews – April 7, 2008 – Six months after giving away a championship on the last day of the season, Sic Willie’s FITS Fartknockers fantasy baseball franchise is on track to make its third consecutive Great Santini League playoff appearance. The 2008 Fartknockers will finish in third place this season, according to a league preview released over the weekend by the Santini Guru:
No opportunity to best the worst collapse in sports history but another playoff for the fartknockers. A first round beating at the hands of Noto is in line after FITS builds enough roto points to qualify for the playoffs but loses (Albert) Pujols to (Tommy John) surgery in August after the Cards are officially knocked out of contention. Pujols gets his eight months of rehab started so he can be ready for 2009 and FITS continues to build his loser resume.
At a hastily-arranged press conference that may or may not have doubled as his morning visit to the restroom, Sic Willie commended the guru for his thoughtful analysis but countered that the addition of starting pitcher Dan Haren (above) and second baseman Chase Utley to this year’s squad (which already returns stud pitcher Cole Hamels and first baseman Mark Teixeira) portends a higher finish.
“The limited needs we do have this year can be addressed via trades and free agency much more readily than I think the guru realizes,” Sic Willie said in response to a question posed by ESPN’s Erin Andrews. “On top of that, we have ample power to trade, which means we’ll be able to pick up some speed on the basepaths and another quality starting pitcher without sacrificing anything.”
Sic Willie also reminded Andrews that for all the guru’s perceived wisdom, his squad failed to make the playoffs last season.
By FreshMeat April 7, 2008 at 1:21 pm
“The limited needs we do have this year can be addressed via trades and free agency much more readily than I think the guru realizes.â€
Is that fantasy baseball, or life in general (oom-pah!)
Honestly, though, that’s a lot of talk without any action on the various side-bets you have already been offered this year.
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By fitsnews April 7, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Fresh Meat-
We’re taking all comers. Bring it on!
-FITSNews
By The Great One April 7, 2008 at 4:15 pm
INSULT! The last line should read “For the first time in League history…” when referencing the Guru’s failure to reach postseason.The world will once again be in good shape next November,as ABsCAM will be the Great Santini(for the 14th time) and a Democrat will be on the way to the White House.
By Judah Ben Hur April 8, 2008 at 8:27 am
you kept COLE HAMELS instead of Jake Peavy?
OOooops.
By fitsnews April 8, 2008 at 8:50 am
JBH-
It’s not a keeper league, lamentably, or rest assured the Mighty Jake would still be a Fartknocker.
Peavy was the 19th overall pick, the next-to-last pick in the second round.
He was the second pitcher taken, after Santana went with the 7th overall pick.
-FITSNews
P.S. – We certainly hope you are enjoying eternity, ye of the great chariot race.