Mr. & Mrs. Smith Are Not Married

JENNIFER ANISTON CAN PUT DOWN THE INHALER AND RELAX

FITSNews – March 31, 2008 – If there’s anything more pathetic than people who sit around waiting for the latest news on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s rumored nuptuals (wait a minute, that’s us!), it’s people who do so obsessively. People like Jennifer Aniston, for example, who was no doubt holding an internet vigil with some chocolate ice cream, Kleenexes and an inhaler all weekend as rumors about a Jolie-Pitt wedding in New Orleans started making the rounds on the web. Of course according to the National Ledger, the lack of any public Aniston reaction (or any attempt by the tabloid press to get such a reaction) is “Exhibit A” in the case against the wedding:

The gauge for the wedding reports are easy, there have been no “Jennifer Aniston is in tears” stories yet to emerge and of course there (are) no attempts to get a comment from the actress. Where is the Jennifer Aniston comment? Jennifer is in Miami according to a report from OK! Magazine and they would have certainly had a report about how tough the wedding is on Jen.

You know things are bad when the media is determining the veracity of a rumor by gauging the size of the hissy-fit you throw in response to it. Of course a truly intrepid reporter would’ve checked Aniston’s garbage to see how many empty half-gallons of Häagen-Dazs and discarded inhalers were in there, but celebrity reporters aren’t exactly Woodward and Bernstein, are they? Fortunately, we know the quest for truth knows no ignobility, people.

UPDATE – The website Hecklerspray apparently has the latest romantic update on Aniston, and not surprisingly it’s depressing as hell.

Comments