This Should Fix Everything
A TEACHER REJUVENATION CENTER IS COMING TO SOUTH CAROLINA
FITSNews – March 28, 2008 – You know, the only reason we’re not blowing a gasket right now is that the $10.5 million, 450-acre “Teacher Rejuvenation Center” they’re building up in Pickens County, S.C. is not being paid for with taxpayer dollars.
At least not yet, anyway, although we’re sure at some point school districts will be reimbursing hundreds of thousands of dollars in mileage and other expenses for teachers to visit this “waterfront, resort-like center” where they can soothe their worst-in-the-nation blues and find their inner (failing) children.
We’re also pretty sure Associated Press reporter Seanna Adcox meant to write a serious news story about this, but forgive us for finding several passages from her article pretty damn funny:
Groups of kindergarten- through 12th-grade teachers will come to the center for weeklong retreats that include group training and opportunities for outdoor activities like hiking, canoeing and whitewater rafting.
What, no S’mores? No Kum Ba Ya? No ghost stories? Of course, Adcox’s rendition of R.E.M.’s “Shiny Happy People” gets even better …
Teachers will be asked to set goals before making the trip that could include losing weight and walking regularly, (State Superintendent Jim) Rex said.
“We want teachers to start taking better care of themselves,” he said.
The selection process is still being worked out, but poor, rural districts that have a tough time attracting and retaining teachers may get priority, Rex said.
Aside from the fact that fat ass teachers should probably worry about improving SAT scores or graduation rates before grappling with their own inability to resist chocolate, our bet is that within a week the State Ministry of Non-Competition will hire a dozen new employees to handle the selection process for all the “rejuvenation” that’s going to be taking place.
Yup, you’re seriously on crack if you don’t think there will be a line item in the state budget for this e-Harmony convention within the next, like, five minutes.Â
Wait … did we mention the article gets even better?
Special education teacher Ann Marie Taylor, the state’s current teacher of the year, said she loves helping children but sometimes comes home from work crying.
“Sometimes I’d come home and there was not much left for my husband and son,” said Taylor, of Pine Tree Hill Elementary in Camden. “Today has reminded me that what we do does make a difference.”
It sure does make a difference, Ann Marie.
In fact, the 200,000 South Carolina school kids currently stuck in failing or below average schools would like to thank you for the minimum wage jobs they’ll get at the distribution center once they drop out of school at age sixteen with an STD, a talent for illiteracy and a lottery addiction.
But hey, save some S’mores for us, will ya?
Comments
By Rob W. on March 28th, 2008 at 6:51 am
Wow, making fun of the emotionally drained, underpaid special ed teacher. You sure are one for raising morale.
By truthseeker on March 28th, 2008 at 7:33 am
Sic Willie, What are the top 3 things you would do as education czar of South Carolina to fix our schools and/or raise our SAT scores?
I am being dead serious- let us know.
By piepton on March 28th, 2008 at 8:28 am
The point isn’t that the teachers we currently have are going to all of a sudden learn how to teach from spending a weekend doing silly team building exercises. If we give teachers some perks and actually pay them a living wage some of the individuals currently becoming engineers, architects, doctors, lawyers, etc. might instead decide teaching isn’t such a bad profession. Currently the bulk of our teaching force is made up of people who’s decision process was: Hmm, I don’t know what to do with my life. I guess I’ll go be a teacher, you get summers off and they’ll take anybody. And what a surprise, people who have never been good at anything aren’t that great at teaching either.
By Larry Manetti on March 28th, 2008 at 10:37 am
While I typically agree with the overall gist of your rants on education in SC, blaming the teachers for the sorry state of matters is mostly undeserved. Undoubtedly, there are plenty of teachers who are substandard and should be removed, but the majority of them are competent and shouldn’t be expected to work miracles on some of the ignorant wretches with which they are saddled. It would appear that none of your immediate family members are/were teachers. Whether you have or not, it doesn’t change the fact that most of them do their job adequately. Perhaps the uneducated parents of these uneducated children could pitch in from time to time… you know… just so their kids might have a shot at improving their lot in life. ‘Tis unfortunate that your secondary private school teachers didn’t give you the down and very dirty truth about STD’s. Possibly would have saved you an uncomfortable phone call or three.
By fitsnews on March 28th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Larry,
Actually Sic’s dad is a 38-year public educator at the University of South Carolina. And unlike our K-12 and higher ed messes, his program is actually one of the nation’s elite.
And we don’t really blame teachers, we blame the idiots at the State Department who saddle them with all the things you mentioned above … and more. Oh, and we also blame the taxpayer-supported lobbying and political groups who then turn around and whine about legitimate private sector contributions.
We just couldn’t resist having a little fun w/ this, that’s all …
One thing we do want to point out, teacher incentives in SC should be based on merit, not some national board certification B.S. If a teacher is doing a good job educating his or her kids, then he or she should be rewarded. Of course until we stop moving the goalposts and fix our ass-backward and expensive testing methods, we’ll never know for sure who’s learning what.
-FITSNews
By Natasha on March 28th, 2008 at 11:33 am
I will say this, as the child of a S.C. public school teacher (high school level), the national board certification ain’t a joke, and if a teacher puts that much time into it, outside of their job, they do deserve something for that. I know plenty of seemingly good public educators who tried and failed to get that distinction…But we should ALSO reward those who are doing a great job as you mentioned…
By A National Board Certified Teacher on March 28th, 2008 at 11:36 am
“One thing we do want to point out, teacher incentives in SC should be based on merit, not some national board certification B.S. If a teacher is doing a good job educating his or her kids, then he or she should be rewarded. Of course until we stop moving the goalposts and fix our ass-backward and expensive testing methods, we’ll never know for sure who’s learning what.”
The idea of merit based pay isn’t necessarily a bad one, but how do you make it fair? Teachers can’t demonstrate performance solely based on test scores, the usual measure of teacher quality. We have different kids from year to year, and each class is different across the same grade level.
I know I am a strong teacher – my students always show tremendous growth – but I also know this year’s test scores may be a little lower than last year’s. That doesn’t mean I slacked off, just that these kids weren’t at the same starting point as in years past, in addition to a larger-than-usual class size, and I wasn’t able to go as far with them (although, again, using the portfolios I keep, I am able to show growth over the course of the year).
Comparing these kids’ scores to their scores last year wouldn’t work either, given that they take different levels of PACT. How do you propose to fairly select the “good” teachers that deserve a bonus?
PS – I prefer cash, not a trip to the Rejuvenation Center.
By Larry Manetti on March 28th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
FITS, thanks for the clarification. Even the best teachers need motivation, and obviously pay increases create the incentive for improvement. However, your point on NBC is accurate. At this rate, every teacher in the state will be board certified and qualified for a $7,500 annual salary bump. In that case, we should simply raise the starting salary and make teaching a more competitive market. And since it’s Friday, I won’t even go into other questionable practices like NBC loan forgiveness for those who fail to obtain certification (added by SDE in the current House budget).
Swing by the King Kamehameha Club sometime… have a Mai Thai on the house.
Again, thanks for
By bc on March 28th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
I bet the teachers are just going to go out there and hook-up with other teachers…It’ll probably get busted in a couple of years.
By Wake Up South Carolina on March 28th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Academia is what’s wrong with this country….the sense of entitlement cloaked in some “intellectual pomposity” isn’t meeting the real market needs of South Carolina or the USA.
I don’t actually believe that most instructors teaching their subject matter could actually compete in the marketplace. Of course, commercial entities are always quick to fork over the “honorariums” to chairs at high profile universities for the public relations perception.
Throwing money at education doesn’t educate; never has never will.
The basic social fabric is the problem. But admittedly, in this day and age you have to play the “educator’s game” or fail to attract meaningful jobs (which can pay back the over-priced 4-6 years of education.)
And South Carolina, just doesn’t know how to play the game.
By Believe It Not (a.k.a. Sic Willie's Stalker) on March 28th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
willie, willie, weewee willie!
How much is SCRG and Howard “the money man” paying to have you continue to attack our children?
Don’t deny it. Yes, you’re attacking children! Particularly those who need help the most. You care nothing that your voucher scam would leave behind those who need help the most. Vouchers fix nothing.
First, fix real issues facing public education. Then we’ll talk about your voucher tax scam. First, fix the shameful “minimally adequate” standard. Then fix the poverty, fix the latent (and overt) racism and fix the host of other social ills they cause. Comments wee willie? :)
BIN Editorial Staff
Wasting Away in Voucherville
By Believe It Not (a.k.a. Sic Willie's Stalker) on March 30th, 2008 at 12:13 am
Silence from sic(k) willie? Noting to retort? No backlash from SCRG?
By Ann Marie on April 16th, 2008 at 4:51 am
One note on this Teacher Center- there are so many passionate teachers who are fighting daily to make a difference for the children of South Carolina. No, our system is not perfect but we are working hard locally and state-wide to change things. I am so thankful for people like Jim Anthony who are willing to donate to the cause -thank you for supporting and up-lifting our profession.