THIS ONE’S GONNA BE BIG, PEOPLE
FITSNews – February 26, 2008 – Ordinarily, we don’t tease stories like this, we just run them. With a smiley face. :)
Of course, we ordinarily don’t get handed a truckload of supposedly secret court documents that presage a massive S.C. political bombshell – one that’s been intentionally hidden from the public view.
Lamentably, ”massive political bombshells” are invariably preceded by endless hours of consultation with our attorneys, which is what we’re doing today. We had no idea people got paid $500 an hour to be anal-retentive party poopers, but we’re currently sitting across the table from four of them. Don’t get us wrong, we’re grateful to them for sucking up our kids’ college tuition, but pretty much all they’re doing at the moment is arguing with each other over which affidavits we’re allowed to post, which ones we can only “quote from” and which ones we’re supposed to pretend we never saw. C’mon, people. Consensus is money!
And where oh where is Sic Willie while all this of is happening? Yeah, he’s out in the hallway flirting with the receptionist. Which is what he’s been doing ever since we got here two hours ago. Jeez.
Anyway, we’ve been greenlighted to run the story, and if these lawyer leeches let up within the next four hours (i.e. the next $4,000), we should be able to have it up on FITSNews sometime after midnight … so stay tuned, people. This one’s gonna be big …
By Bernadr Jones Sr. February 26, 2008 at 11:07 am
I think we need a big dose of bomb shells to cut through the thick wall of apathy that exists amoung the paying public who really don’t have a clue as to how they are and have been governed.
Let us have it NOW!
By zilbilly February 26, 2008 at 11:37 am
Will, let’s be honest: “our kids’ college tuition” = Saturday night beer money
Looking forward to the big story!
By Trannycocks February 26, 2008 at 11:45 am
Will,
We don’t need a team of lawyers to tell us that Lindsey Graham is GAY!!!!!!!
By Not Sayin', Just Sayin' February 26, 2008 at 12:46 pm
This sort of teaser is more maddening than anything Craig Melvin could knife our sensibilities with, probably because it actually preceds real news. But for the love of all things chesty, can’t you at least give us a hint? Like which branch of government is involved?
PS – If this involves Kirstie Alley in any way, I will never read this blog again.
By Ron February 26, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Will, i can’t wait!!
I’m hoping what ever it is that you’re uncovering will be the impetus that will enable the voters of SC, “who are so forgiving” to hold this scumbag to one term in the Senate. When i say so forgiving, i’m referring to the voters of our wonderful state who tolerated numerous decades of Fritz Hollings shennanigans. ONE CAN ONLY HOPE!
Ron
By lindsey's not gay February 26, 2008 at 12:51 pm
He is?
By Ron February 26, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Amen, Mr. Bernard Jones!
By fitsnews February 26, 2008 at 1:41 pm
People, people … relax …
Like Axl Rose once said, “just a little patience, yea-a-a-a-uh, just a little patience.”
-FITSNews
By Jeffrey Sewell February 26, 2008 at 2:08 pm
We must still have the same attorneys, shouldn’t we be part owners in that new building by now.
By Money for nothing February 26, 2008 at 2:26 pm
$4,000! Damn, for that kind of money you could buy a $26 million land deal in Port Royal, Sic!
By Not Sayin', Just Sayin' February 26, 2008 at 3:17 pm
In other news, Platinum Plus announced it will suspend business until FITS has time to recover financially from its legal expenses.
By Mincing Words February 26, 2008 at 5:16 pm
meanwhile i am trying to figure out what i’m going to do until midnight…
By SimplyMe February 26, 2008 at 6:43 pm
I figured it out!
Jenny is having Andre’s baby…
News at 11.
By Not Sayin', Just Sayin' ... February 26, 2008 at 7:42 pm
No, no … Lindsey Graham is having Andre’s baby!
By bahahaha February 26, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Bahahaha,
There are not four lawyers in SC worth $500 an hour! And the lawyers that do charge ne.ar that much are all Democrats.Did you give money to Democrat trial lawyers?
By curiousp February 26, 2008 at 8:28 pm
People! Lindsey Graham’s sexuality isn’t a bombshell. Most SC Repubs have known about the Senator’s personal life for quite a while and decided that it’s not a big deal. As long as he sides with the party on its most important votes and keeps getting re-elected, he’ll be given a free pass. Let sleeping dogs lie.
By Not Sayin', Just Sayin' ... February 26, 2008 at 10:01 pm
curiousp — so now you’re saying Graham sleeps with dogs?!? Egad!!!
By Greta February 26, 2008 at 10:34 pm
So the question is, folks (no pun intended), ” Do we stay up ’til midnight or do we assume that by the time his lawyers finish with him there won’t be much of a story to share?”
By Believe It Not (a.k.a. Sic Willie's Stalker) February 26, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Another willie scam. Yawn!